Monday, November 10, 2008

Things I Worry About.

Maybe these will all sound ridiculous at some point in my future? We shall see.

-Does Grace think she is beautiful, really super beautiful?
-Will I ever feel organized?
-Are my siblings going through hardships that I don't know about?
-Will I ever be skinny again?
-What of this crazy country I live in, that I'm proud of and scared of?
-What kind of financial and social climate will my daughters have to deal with as youth?
-I need to find time to do a thousand little things, finish my real estate classes, decorate my house, write more.
-I need to learn how to cook better.
-Are we where we're supposed to be? Have our decisions been right?
-I need to get a job. A small one, maybe teaching piano? Something.
-How about all my Christmas gift ideas? Will they ever hatch, or will they stay dormant yet again?
-Blogging seems to be the only thing I do consistently...
-Am I teaching my girls enough, talking to them enough?
-Will Lillie ever let me sleep? (I know the answer to this one... all in good time).
-I need to keep my car cleaner, my house cleaner.
-How and when will I ever become the pillar my mother is?

And the list goes on. I feel constantly behind! And with a little 16-pounder under my right arm, I get very little done. But when I stare at her, sleeping, sucking her tongue, fluttering her eyes, the scales tip slightly to the heavenly side and the day ends with me knowing that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

10 comments:

Jeni said...

Wow, where did you get a hold of my list of worries? I'm right there with you.

Missy said...

Maybe we should all blog our "lsit of worries" because then we'd all feel much better connected. At least that is how I feel after reading this...

Josh, Kim & Kids said...

I can so relate to the meaning of your last line. I just kissed Bentley as he was soundly sleeping the night away and thought to myself...this isn't so bad after all. Thanks for putting my thoughts into more meaningful words.

gretchen said...

I also share many of your worries. Isn't it wonderful to be a mother, despite all the worrying it involves? :)

Jessiesmylieyahoo,com said...

hi
sarah

Rebecca Smylie said...

Lists! curse them! We can't have anymore lists because we never, ever, cross everything off. Burn every list that says something about cooking better or writing more or teaching piano. Right? Wouldn't that feel good?

Melissa said...

Wow, your list of worries is relatively short. You must not be too much a worrier. From what I see and read, you are an AMAZING wife and mother. Who cares if the house and car aren't totally clean ordinner isn't perfect.....Those things are minor!

Rhiannon said...

I love how you say the right things. I feel the same way. Especially with helping Jersey think that she is beautiful. I wish I new how to instill confidence when so many times I feel like I lack it.

Carrie and Jeff said...

I worry about a lot of the same things. I love how honest you are in your posts. Love it!

Joyful Noise said...

I have been reading your blogs for several months, and am always touched my your honesty and love of your family, but your last comment just really made me cry. I think we always get caught up with all the silly things we think we should be doing and forget that we are doing EXACTLY what we are supposed to be doing.

Debbie Nowland (Becky and Jared Nowalnd's mom - from Arcata)

ps I love your photos