Car Wash

Weekend Together.

I envy her simple life in every way, besides walking around with poo in my diaper.
The lake... teeming with Alligators. But really, come visit.
Sunday walk. Minutes after the all-day rainstorm. Seconds before Lillie spilled her soft body onto the pavement.
T.V.-watching is an actual hobby. It is. Seriously.
The weekend spread. Grandma sent us some old Little People toys and the girls love them.
What I do during the mowing.
What good Dads do during the mowing.

Ready, Set, Writhe.

Niwe, Niws, Lills, Thrill, Thrilla, Nins, Poochie Pants.

With the birth of a new baby in our extended family over the weekend, I see Lillie in a different light.

Like, kid, you're huge.

And in 10.5 months, how much she has learned!

One of my favorite things is to watch her pudgy body doing a shaky frankenstein walk, whispering "da da da da da da da" with her bucky teeth reaching out into the living room air.

Still, after all this time, we die over her every single day.

Long Time Comin'.

There are no words to describe how these images make me feel. I thought we were just going for a couple of snapshots because it really had been SO LONG (2007), and what I got was so much better. The first image really made my breath catch in my throat: yes, that was a cliche I just used... and I'm not going to apologize for it. I really am that happy. I love my little family.

Thank you Ashley for the lovely photos, they mean so much to me.

Sunday Walk.

Here is the cottonmouth that we came across. Florida wildlife never disappoints. This was not taken with a zoom lens. I wasn't even scared.
Jake is the best dad. Seriously. No, really. He is.
Girls brought paper bags to collect nature discoveries. Specimen included grass, both dead and alive (and did not include snake).
I love them. Each of them. They're my gang, my mob, my popcorn-on-a-string. Their laughter is my favorite song on the radio.

What Rules?

Finally I printed some photos! Putting them up took me 'til 1a.m. Then Lillie chose last night to give me the worst version of hell... which was waking up every half hour to complain about certain things. She doesn't speak English yet, so it gets a bit confusing about what she actually NEEDS. I pick up her warm swaddled body, put her against me and feed her every last drop of milk that I have, tip my head back, and think about twenty years from now. How much free time I'll have, how much I'll miss this... etc.

I kept Grace home from school today. She's been bringing home notes from her teacher that say things like, "off task and not following directions", and "very talkative today!" with a frowny face. Here's my note to the rest of the world: "Grace needs a break from the rigors of Kindergarten life. That, and I'm going to miss her when I'm gone next week, so take that and write it down on a sticky note" (ten frowny faces). Of course, Grace is the master mind behind most messes, so in about five minutes, this happened:


I'm pretty sure they were playing "Bolt" and apparently when Ruby is "Bolt", she needs to eat cheerios, on the floor, with water... and syrup. And the syrup needs to be measured with measuring spoons. I would like to point out that the syrup bottle was FULL AND UNOPENED before she started. Do take note. All this while I had casual phone conversation with a friend. And I haven't even checked the bathroom yet.

Here she is getting ready to wrap the rest of the stuffed animals to put under the tree. Today, no uniform, no school rules, no homework, just a girl dressed in five different patterns and her "dancing shoes with heart socks". Ahh. Breath. Sigh. Love.

Cereal At 11 a.m.

Today I: woke up to a broken fridge, five loads of laundry, mommy-daughter cereal with Ruby (she really calls it that). I: re-committed to morning yoga, got a new fridge, washer broke, lots of phone calls, a fixed washer, more phone calls, chewed on bottom lip, waffled about growing Ruby's bangs, stole my husband's night table and made it mine (we only have one), folded spouse's socks, had a Smylie talent show, made dinner with baby in a bjorn, shoulders tingled. Realized that for the first time, Grace can shower herself completely, get her pajamas on, brush her own hair and teeth and just generally act old and mature. Who would have thought...?

On Saturday.

We are surrounded by water here in Florida. I've always had a spiritual relationship with water in all its forms. I think a tall glass of water is more delicious than chocolate cake. I love the rain, snow, rivers, lakes and fog. I even like chewing ice. When I am at the beach, I feel more in tune with my soul than any other time. It's peace and equality. It's earth, sky and ocean converging during which I am only a humble witness. This evening the ocean made music when it lapped my ankles and reminded me of how small I am compared to this huge moving mass of liquid. The world is big, it's wonderful. It lays itself out ahead of me like the galaxy above it.

It's Usually Nothing Special.

Just a normal day, drive home from picking up my big and mature Kindergartner, reach back and quiet Lillie by rocking her car seat and notice that today's after school snack has been crumbled deep into the carpet of my van with yesterday's. We walk into the house. Shoes, backpacks, socks, cups, books, bags, get dropped and tripped over in the entryway. I get the baby out of her seat, serve some milk to the girls with my free hand, help lovely daughter with homework while I bounce almost-four-month-old on my knee. After awhile, the rhythm of the day brings us upstairs where Grace and Ruby glue trinkets and charms atop a perfume box I received for Christmas last year. I don't think much of this photo that I quickly take in the few seconds that Lillie sits in the swing without chirping to be entertained.

But when I look, really LOOK at this photo, I realize it's pricelessness. Grace is still wearing her school uniform shirt that she insisted on. Ruby is clinging to her "suitCASE" that she keeps all of her ponies in. There is writing and drawing and colors all over their little table, despite my constant command, "Only draw on the PAPER", and arrows that Grace drew pointing to the label on the box. There is her name spelled phonetically, which phase lasted only a few days, but is evidenced here! My instinct is to scrub that table clean one of these days. But I really have to halt and ask myself why I would ever do that? The erratic evidence they leave behind is something I will crave, though time will tell when exactly that will be!

Just another day in the life. All of us struggling to be people and to find ourselves.

Jake and I did some organizing last night and he came across journals I kept since I was a very young girl. He read through them starting at my tender age of 12, all the way until I was 22 and in love with him, married to him and pregnant with my Gracie. How in love we were! How much time we spent gazing into each other's eyes and swimming in togetherness! And to think where we are now, with all these years of experience and getting to know each other.

I just have to say: keep writing all of it down. On a blog, in a journal, whatever. It changed our lives last night reading how we felt about each other, never suspecting we would forget a little of that each day until we picked up a journal 7 years later to read my words as a young newlywed, and have it come flooding back to us like a rich surge. It sank deep into our souls to remember snowy nights, him walking me in from our little car, carrying my things, kissing my face, staying up half the night talking with me only to get up early for work and school. I am simply unable to describe how it made us feel. So keep writing all of it down. Those little things will change your life (again) someday!