Easterrific.

I am lackadaisically catching up here. I keep meaning to come here and update, but client work comes first. And so do iPhone word games. And sitting on the couch eating Easter candy with Jake. 

So, an update:

This morning Grace stood by the light of the back window. She tucked her hair behind her ears and ate her cheerios and looked at the window. I stopped making sandwiches and let my hands fall to the counter and stared at her. She is incredible. 

Minutes later I watched her and Ruby bound up the steps of their school together. Running to get out of the rain. When did we become so integrated into this earth, this world, this thriving community? They are so present in their own lives now, sitting in their classrooms, talking to their friends and taking tests. They come home and I juice out of them no more than 1% of their day and the rest is filed in their brains under "life experience". I wish I knew all they were absorbing.

Ruby has a major BA in the morning (Bad Attitude). She doesn't shake it until about 12 minutes after waking up. So it's 12 minutes of pushing her to get her act together. I drag her skin and bones carcass out of bed and help her get dressed. Then she pouts all the way to the bathroom and afterwards, lays down in front of the shoe closet. With no motivation to take the necessary steps to adorn her feet. The hair brushing is just ridiculous. You'd think I was taking a slice out of her toe.

Last night we played a game just before bedtime. Everyone sits on the floor facing Dad and he has to try to make us laugh using only one word. When he says the word, the first person that laughs or giggles is out. Last one standing gets to sit in the chair and make us all laugh. Lillie is not so calm in these situations. It takes all of us working together as a family to keep her happy and settled down and satisfied. Everyone helps. When it's finally her turn to sit in the chair, Grace and Ruby each offer to laugh first so she feels funny, etc. I love seeing the girls treat each other well. Because it means that amidst the mess and stress, we notice some success.

Tadi is a bad (good?) teaser. The car is like chinese torture. Driving down the freeway and Lillie starts humming a tune. Tad watches her and after about 15 seconds, calmly states: "Bopp". (which means "stop"). Lillie flails. The screaming cracks my brain open. Emotions spray onto the window and doors and it takes her several tens of hundreds of seconds to calm down. So I tell her she can sing again. I threaten Tada, "WANNA TIME OUT??". Lillie sings. I watch Tada in the rearview. She leans in. Her eyes sparkle. She says, "Bopp". And the cycle continues. I look out the window and wish I was somewhere else. I remember Ruby doing the exact same thing to Grace in the car. 

Jake and I muddle through our day and at the end, sum it up in long conversations that twist and turn. Life is so good, I often stop and really try to feel it. I wish I could grab it and embrace it. That feeling that I'm lucky, that I have so much. I felt it pretty strong this weekend when I photographed a funeral for a beautiful boy that passed away much too early. In the face of such grief, and the complex feelings that follow, I come home to hug my babies. And celebrate today.

Sunday Photos and Easter.

The truly awful attempt at a front-yard easter photo seconds before we had to jump in the car. Ya... better luck to me next year. 

Gideon and Katie blessed their beautiful baby Finneas today. Here is a photo of all the grandchildren together.

And here's all of us. My two sisters and two brothers and their spouses (missing Aaron!).

Below, Gideon, Katie and Finn. 

Every year I think of how sick I am that every holiday tradition includes candy. Baskets and stockings and buckets of candy. This year I had a fleeting thought of having a children's book hunt. Everyone grab your basket! See how many different titles you can find! Let's talk plot and characters! I decided it wasn't worth the effort. Wouldn't want it to be a yawn-fest because of me.

On your mark, get set, go!

Lillie, mad about something. 

My brother took the last three of Lillie. He calls them "paparazzi shots". She's declining publicity at this point. She's sick of it and wants her life back...

Overall, a great weekend. We relaxed, enjoyed family and heard enough screaming and crying in our house to make you think militia was attacking our village! 

What's coming up.

Today I'm posting this photo because it represents something. Me, looking down on Lills. Not able to squat any longer. Normally, I get down on her level anytime I'm taking her photo, but that time has passed. It is very hard for me to come out of a squat. I usually have to go onto one knee and use a hand to push off the ground. I'm just sayin', times are changing.

Our Easter was wonderful. All about General Conference and greed. The greed part being, "We hid some candy eggs in the yard, go outside and find as many as you can. Then, pig out. Ready, set, go." The General Conference part was nice, including making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, distributing snacks and breaking up fights, and in the interim, catching a few quotes here and there. I kept reminding myself to really go back and read certain talks. It's the only way.

Almost all of my siblings were here at my house. Naomi and her husband came from Rexburg, ID, Miriam and her husband, Jared and his wife, Gideon and his wife, Hannah and her husband and my neice, Kayla. Bethany, my little sister who's in High School drove out from California with some friends for conference and spent the day with us here. We were only missing Isaac and Rachel. It was a blast. There was at least one uncle or aunt drawing or doing art with the girls all day long. And Lills was very entertained. And I think I ate virtually all day (and into the night, shhhh).

I have become a shell of the intellectual I used to be. Don't ask me any questions that aren't related to childbirth or a baby. I won't be able to properly represent the brain that's inside me somewhere. Even during conference talks, when hearing about mothers and children and leading and guiding, my hand finds its way to rest gently on my belly. Another little child coming to us.

5 more weeks. And today's almost over, so that means I'll have 4 weeks and 6 days (give or take). Not that I'm counting. This impending baby is the only thing I can think about. It has consumed me. One minute she's got the hiccups, the next I'm trying to scoot her foot around the outside of my belly. I picture her, think about her back and her head and her legs and all the others.

I think about labor. I'm a little nervous, given my history with Lillie being born 2 minutes after I arrived at the hospital. It's just the one thing that I thought I'd have so much control over but after Lills realized it can go a little awry. So I'm excited for her to come. She could be born today and I would be overjoyed, ready, happy, relieved. But in the back of my mind lies the dormant memory of the terrifying pain and euphoric joy that comes from birthing.

It's an interesting irony. But will be beautiful no matter what.

"Happy" Easter

We had a hunt (Grace thought it was an Easter BUNNY hunt, but she realized quickly it was just eggs). You can tell from the photos that I gave up making my girls look at the camera a long time ago. If they actually do look, it's either pure luck or it's me telling them that there's a huge My Little Pony dancing on my head.

Here are some grandkids on the bench above, Grace, Ruby, Simone, Reef, and Oz. Nana got EVERYONE an Easter basket, even the babies!

Today is Monday and we all have the flu. Fever, chills, the shakes, and two little girls who are mad at the world. Pray for my survival.