Food Art and Realizing.

Today, I realized more than ever, I can go from one end to the other. From thinking specifically, "I have it all", to wanting to bang my head against a hard, flat surface.

Lillie screamed for hours at a time, Ruby played with Tada so well their faces lit up like Christmas trees, Grace told jokes and threw fits, Lillie gave me the funniest belly laughs in full-on joke mode, all four girls cried long and hard at bedtime, I wanted to leave the chaos but having nowhere more important to be I stayed here, cleaning-cleaning-cleaning-cleaning, Grace played Noel on the piano perfectly, I couldn't talk on the phone because of all the noise, watched Lillie wash her hands and change her clothes a million times, wanted so badly to be close to the girls today tomorrow and always, thought of a thousand ways I could be doing better, tried to be "fun" and ended up being annoyed, realized-really realized how blessed I am, and at the very end of today-- wanted peace.

The girls are all asleep now in their beds, eyelashes fluttering against their cheeks, their small red robin chests rising and falling. Safe, warm, resting. Another day is gone and I can hardly believe it's late December.

What will become of us? Our tiny little family, the six of us lost in this big, huge world. Will we stay close, arms locked together, us against the world? Hopefully. What kind of opportunities will we be afforded, which ones will we deserve?

Jake and I grow and change with each new hurdle the girls put in front of us, that life puts in front of us. We grow together, closer, more understanding of each other, and for that I feel incredibly lucky.

I hope everyone out there (hi!) has a really great Christmas.    

Breathe -- Smile -- Laugh.

And for now and always, do the best you can.

Food art and famousness.

A peanut butter sandwich snowman with a carrot nose, candy eyes, pretzel arms and powdered sugar snow.

Tonight while we rounded up the girls in Cafe Rio (who were on the floor, in the bathroom and on the table), someone came up to me and told me she read my blog and so did all her friends in Washington. She then proceeded to give me 1.2 billion compliments. All from someone I had never met! (You are fantastic Alisa!!!) That's the first time this sort of thing has ever happened and Gracie told me in the car that she was glad that I'm famous and that she really would like to be famous someday.

When we got home I told Jake I couldn't do any more house work since I was so famous. Then I needed someone to take the baby so I could get busy being famous. 

But really, what a fabulous person, to go out of her way in public, come up to me and say all those nice things to me. To someone she had never actually met in person! I look up to her and she so totally made my night!

Recent food art and more.

A house... with balloons tied to her fence.

Peanut Butter Sandwich Christmas Tree.

And THE MOST homemade-style advent calendar ever... but I don't care. This time in my life -- the time when going to the fabric store or holiday decor stores is just out of the question with little ones... this is the time when I make calendars out of bed sheets...

Food-art.

The girls love when I make them "food-art". No sort of grand plan, just grab whatever's in the fridge. This one's pickles, string cheese, gogurt, shredded cheese and flour tortilla. A caterpillar walking in the grass on a sunny day. Or floating rather...

In other news, Matilda is almost crawling and almost sitting up... She teases us! I look at her face every single day and think of how I couldn't live without her. Like if she was gone I'd drop dead. She's that brand new Christmas present and the novelty, even after six months, has never worn off.

A blizzard's blowing in. I love how cold November gets and how bright the Christmas lights glow (even before Thanksgiving). The inside of the house is so warm and I wear boots almost constantly. January and February will come bringing bleak and frozen dismay but until then, I'm going to drink hot chocky and be so grateful for all that we have.