A Mama.

Mama,

Almost every day a thought crosses my mind, like a running shadow, as the afternoon grows long. It's a fleeting one, and always unique. It's a thought of you. Sometimes in the wrinkles of my hands, or the way I chop vegetables, looking through the kitchen window at the girls playing together. Their laughter floats toward me and I think of you. How long ago you did the same thing. Prepared dinner, managed the endless sea of dishes and laundry and needs, laughed and cried at the weight of your responsibility.

You gave us yourself. The best way you knew how. And that's what I try to do, every day. Mother my girls the best way I know how.

My affection for you translates everything and translates into everything I do. Decisions I make, even the little ones, reminisce of you. There's something about you in almost everything I do. That's a mother to me. The one who I cannot separate myself from, no matter how many miles I travel. One can clamor to find the line, the one where you end and I begin. But I cannot find it, and for that I am happy.

All I can say is thank you. A million times, thank you.

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To my babies:

Make You Feel My Love
When the rain

Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love

Moms Love Sentimental.

The girls weren't feeling well and hardly slept on Saturday night, so I went to church alone and when I came back three hours later, these cards are what they had made for me! I love them so much and anyone that has talked to me knows I can't stop talking about them. Jake made up the questions, took photos of the girls, uploaded them, and printed them along with the questions. The girls answered everything themselves, and I was in heaven. Moms love sentimental, and that's the truth.

I also got a NEW LENS. Let me emphasize: this lens is a heart melter. I love it, the possibilities are endless and now I've got a great Zoom and a great Prime. The new lens for those of you who care: Canon's 50mm F1.4. Nothing short of exactly what I wanted for Mother's Day. And how, do you ask, did I sneak in a prenatal massage on Saturday? I do not know, but I am one lucky, lucky girl. It felt so nice.

A Mother's Day Weekend

(10 bucks if you can guess which one is me)

Things I learned from my mom:

Life Takes Instruction: Every task, even the most mundane, has a myriad of instructions attached to it. If she doesn't give you instructions, she will instruct AFTER the fact, like, "You didn't wipe the table effectively because you wiped the crumbs onto the floor, you have to wipe them onto your hand and rinse in the sink", etc. You have to be organized in order to raise 9 kids.

I Love Your Dad: A fierce loyalty to my dad is something that taught us when we were young to respect the work my dad did every day for our family. In turn, it helped me respect my mother for the work she did without asking for much recognition. She stuck by my dad when it came to the kids.

Everyone is Worth Your Time: To this day, in the small town of Eureka, CA, my mom will talk to anybody in a grocery store. ANYONE. This includes the woman with no teeth, wearing a faded, stained tank top, smelling like alcohol so bad, and won't quite look you in the eye. She will talk to her. Ask her where her kids go to school. Tell her she should go to the beach because the ocean "has never looked more glorious than it does today". Not because she feels compassion for her, but because she truly wants to know about her. She sees through everything and just wants to make friends with people.

You Can Cry Whenever You Want: Like her mother before her, she is a crier. We used to watch Anne of Green Gables in neat little 8-hour increments on Saturdays. They were our Green Gables and Avonlea marathons (what else do you do with 6 daughters?). When it came to a touching part (or every 20 minutes), all of our heads would swoop to hers and see if she was crying. Sure enough. But it was normal, comforting, and I miss it.

Makeup is for Special Occasions: And I mean SPECIAL. Like, your anniversary. My mom is rad. She really helped me either realize that I am pretty without makeup, or helped me realize that caring about my appearance is overrated.

Husbands Need Prodding: She is married to my dad. Who thinks you can go backpacking and sleep on the ground and eat dried refried beans every day and not bring bug spray. And we did that. Thousands of times. But my mom, she got him to roll up a mattress and put it in the car, bring flashlights with new batteries, plan REAL food, and actually PLAN things in general. My parents are an excellent combination.

You Are Worth Standing Up For: My mom stood up for me. Any chance she got. And she taught us to do the same for ourselves, with teachers, peers, and boyfriends. She is not shy about sharing her opinion, and I love her for that. Embarrassing at certain times of my life, but indispensible at others.

The Gospel is True: The fire inside my mother is unquenchable. She rose from difficult circumstances in her childhood and became a rock of religious truth, moral standards and unwaivering testimony. She is a light.

Love you Mama.