Friday, January 15, 2010

Holding.





Rocked my babe to sleep again tonight, as usual. I literally hold that child until she falls asleep. I sit with her in the rocker and watch her drift off. Watch her leave this world for another. No more processing the sounds from the hallway, no more picking at my chin, no more voluntary movements. She goes still and I think again, for the millionth night, how incredible it is to be a mother. Especially to mine.

She's been feverish. Tonight, finally, it's gone. Her head is cold, like it should be. She's bundled, with socks and a shirt and pajamas. Her nose is slightly cold and her temperature is completely normal again. Nothing foreign in her body struggling for the throne.

It's a special thing, what I share with Lillie. By the time her new sister comes she'll have had almost two years of her mom's heartbeat in her ear as she lets sleep come upon her. I love it. Don't know how I'm going to break it. But I'll always hold really close the memories of this time. Of not being able to give her much compared to my first, but being able to give her this.

Mama loves you Lills. All 26 pounds of you.

5 comments:

Leanne said...

Aww...Sweet post Sarah. I love her too!

bathroom lights said...

Cute pictures!

Cherilyn said...

aaaaw.

Dee said...

a-mazing
all of it

Jennifer said...

Awww...I loved when Abby fell asleep on me or next to me. She rarely does now and I enjoy the very few times she does. She's usually sick though and that's not good either. I was jealous at Christmas time when she fell asleep on my Mom, but I know 'Granny' enjoyed it too.

Abby misses Lillie in Nursery...even though Abby always wanted whatever toy Lillie had.