Friday, May 01, 2009

Safety.


I usually do this. Wake up in the morning and decide what my inspiration will be for the day. Sometimes it's Wall Street Journal news, or Dooce, or Church stuff, or a Rolling Stones song. Lots of times it's photography. I was sifting through one of my favorite super-famous-and-talented photographer's blogs, reading about a magazine-published wedding here and a martha's vineyard-3day open house there. I was in that world for a moment, like, wait, where is that? Ok, when? Oh so-and-so is catering it? How interesting.

Then a cry came from the hall and I responded right away. Miss Thang had her 10 month old fists in the diaper bag and was ripping a baggie of cheerios to shreds. I cleaned the cheerios. My mind wandered, and I wondered what the most effective way was to clean all the strands of black hair from my tiled hallway. The ones that gather in the corners from having a family with at least three girly heads of thick dark hair.

I felt lonely for a second. Cleaning hair from the hallway floor, knowing there's a big world out beyond my front door full of people who have socials and workshops and know each other's names. And I'm a little shut in.

I thought about Grace. How she goes to school every day with people whizzing around her and only wants to come home and read into the night. How she might feel lonely sometimes, but safe. Being famous to the people that truly love her. Her family.

6 comments:

Amy said...

Hi Sarah,
It's been a while since I have looked through blogs. I came to yours and felt inspired. You have such a beautiful way of saying what's on your mind. You have such a talent for expressing your passions! I also envy your talent as a photographer. :) Thank you for sharing your beauty and that of your family with all of us!!! You are amazing.
Amy B.

Kristen said...

Sarah,

I am a blogger friend of Kelly Edmondson's. I found your blog through her links and have been a long time lurker of yours. It was mostly the photos that drew me. But this post spoke volumes. I think we all feel like that, especially mothers who have small children, who don't get out of the house, much less their sweats. But you said so beautifully how moms make Houses Homes. It's from the safety our children feel when they are here, that they know they are the light of our lives and we are their biggest fans. You wrote it so beautifully it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. I have felt this way (shut-in, out of touch with the "real world") so much that I tend to lose sight of what my purpose is.

I have girls too and the hair I find (everywhere) is only evidence of the life they live in our house.

You ARE amazing.

KH

ariana said...

My corners are filled with our basset hound's white dog hair. I have given up the battle.

Jessie said...

hisarah

Kristie said...

I totally get what you're saying. There is a time and a place for everything - yours at the moment is to create a place for your family to love in and feel safe in.

Just discovered Dooce and love it.

missy said...

Sarah. I think this is my favorite post ever. So well written. I know the feeling you experienced, but I never thought about it in terms of our little girls. And what a powerful way you described it.

Seriously. Keep blogging.