Still Squidgy

My sister-in-law Ashley took some beautiful shots today of me and my snuggly baby. She's almost nine months. And Grace will be six tomorrow. My heart pounded just then. I will post some photos of my growing six-year-old tomorrow. The plan is to skip school and go to Disneyworld as a family. That's a good parent thing to do, right?

p.s., I took off my friends and family links. If you used any of them, I am "following" everyone's blogs still so you can click on my profile to see the list.

A Late Night.

All is finally peaceful in our house. There were problems tonight. It started this morning when after a fitful night with four people sleeping in our two-person bed, our alarm went off and caused me to NOT move a muscle. Glancing at the clock I realized my window of opportunity to get Grace ready for school on time was gone and forcefully buried my worn out face further into the pillow. And oh how nice that felt.

So Grace and Ruby slept in. And Grace was late. Tonight, they were not tired at 7:30 like normal. Oh no. They took that extra energy, added a dose of daylight savings delirium and stayed up until 10:30. Get freaking real. After losing my patience a billion times, I recoiled and climbed up into Grace's precarious top bunk to breathe her in for a moment. She was puffy, lips very red, her black hair all over. She mumbled something about fires, how they worry her. "Have you seen one recently or something?" "No Mommy, but I remember one from camping and I don't like them. They burn you". Hm.

Also,

Grace: "Were pioneers the first people on the earth?"

Me: "No, probably Adam and Eve."

Grace: "Adam and Eve did not make the right choice, did they, Mom?"

Me:

A Magnificent Bod.

Lillie girl had her first swim! It's still a bit cold, but she's got insulation.

Oh, and the pleasure that it is to lather that fat body with sunscreen belongs to me! I start with those loose shoulders and move down to her billowy hands and fingers. Then down the belly and onto the legs. I steal a few kisses from her neck before I finish dusting her cheeks with lotion.

Mm. It's going to be a good summer.

Nana is the best Nana.

We had a little family birthday party over the weekend for Grace and Ruby. But that's not what this is about. This is to give fair and public notice to the rest of the world that those arms that surround each of the girls belong to a woman who protects, worries over and sacrifices greatly for her grandkids.

We were at an indoor play place. We found ourselves chatting as usual while the kids played on the bouncing house. Suddenly, Grace jumped too high up and over the air-filled wall and as we glanced up, she dangled head first five feet off the ground losing her grip by the second. I didn't move fast enough, Jake was holding Ruby and couldn't move fast enough. I dove toward the spot where I thought she would land and was too late. But I will tell you something. That wonderful Nana of hers was three feet in front of me, already scooping Grace up in her arms. She is about twenty years old than I, and she had moved faster, been stronger, and skinned both her knees in the process of being there to pick up Grace when she fell (flat on her back). I'm telling you, she's amazing. And ya can't have her.

Yum-O

4, my favorite number.

Today is your birthday. And you were so mad all day yesterday. I think you were getting all your 3's out. And how mean am I? Bribing with marshmallows did me no good, it was cold and you wanted to go home.Only slightly better was in the house earlier that day. But I got this face as I interrupted your viewing of Kung Fu Panda:
And here is a forced smile, but no less beautiful.
Bear wrapped in a bed of socks.
Your favorite shoes bought by Aunt Liza two Christmases ago. And you wear them almost every day. They're a little tight.

Everything in the house reminds me of you, but to choose only a few more... You love this book. It's simple and it has a simple theme. A monkey and his mama, in love.

Your favorite sweater. It was on sale at Target but you think it is out-of-this-world beautiful. Like a princess sweater or something.

This represents your hard life, Ruby. A hand me down kitty from Grace with make-up smeared on the leg. You love this thing. This is the only toy that you are permitted to own, per Grace's instructions. You should see her pile of possessions stowed on the top bunk...

And you love Spongebob...

Every single morning. Cereal in a bowl with milk. Specifically. And eat it with you at the table. Always.

I know you think I'm going to say that you're growing up too fast. You expect me to say how much you've grown and how it seems like just yesterday you were my little colicky infant. But I'm going to leave that subject alone and tell you that I get you. I truly get you. A second child myself, I understand that you feel like sometimes no one sees you or hears you. You feel like you are a little lost and a little unknown. You feel a little misunderstood. I get it.

But I want you to know that never, ever has there come into my life such a special person as you. No one so passionate, emotional, loving, tender-hearted and palpable. Sure you challenge me, but I see through it like the ocean of sweet independence that it is.

Ruby, you're in my pocket, you're tucked into the background, right where I want you. To keep you safe, to protect you, and to wait for the right moment to unleash your omnipotence on the world.

Happy 4th Birthday, little girl.

A 31-year-old.

I've loved every stage of your life, even those I haven't been a part of. I hope to eventually erase all those painful memories of [our] buck teeth and replace them with fresh grown-up ones. Like ones where you don't throw your sunflower seed shells on the patio...

Favorite things:

You laugh by yourself while watching T.V. Don't ever stop.

You're smart. Especially with taxes. Seems trite, but in my mind, not so trite. Makes you very, very sexy.

You have worn the same t-shirts for ten years.

You have soul. In music, with people that you love, for places and things that you can't live without. You definitely have soul.

Happy Birthday.

Missing Christmas...

I love the daily stuff.

Oh Baby.

Lillie, seriously.

We spend so much time together. And I love it.

You wrestle me. Like a spider on a wall. Over, under, on, beside. If you could crawl down my throat and back into my warm insides, you probably would.

You will someday see that that's the thing about babies. They demand attention. Because they don't know any better. They don't know it's inconvenient. They don't buy into Mommy's subtle hints that she is busy and needs you to bond with your teething ring. You are a normal baby by that definition and I say, bring it on.

This is what I wanted. Babies. This is what I signed up for. Don't let any of my frustrated moments ever convince you otherwise. Don't let the memory of my tired face slip from your every-day thoughts. Inevitably, it will, as you choose to fill your head with other things and let that big heart of yours spread out among all those who know you. But poured like cement in my mind is your feathery hair, your warm mouth, your strong twenty pound body under my arm as I do my chores.

For now, I will take on the title of Center of your Universe with my head up, sweats on, and you perched joyfully on my right hip.