4, my favorite number.

Today is your birthday. And you were so mad all day yesterday. I think you were getting all your 3's out. And how mean am I? Bribing with marshmallows did me no good, it was cold and you wanted to go home.Only slightly better was in the house earlier that day. But I got this face as I interrupted your viewing of Kung Fu Panda:
And here is a forced smile, but no less beautiful.
Bear wrapped in a bed of socks.
Your favorite shoes bought by Aunt Liza two Christmases ago. And you wear them almost every day. They're a little tight.

Everything in the house reminds me of you, but to choose only a few more... You love this book. It's simple and it has a simple theme. A monkey and his mama, in love.

Your favorite sweater. It was on sale at Target but you think it is out-of-this-world beautiful. Like a princess sweater or something.

This represents your hard life, Ruby. A hand me down kitty from Grace with make-up smeared on the leg. You love this thing. This is the only toy that you are permitted to own, per Grace's instructions. You should see her pile of possessions stowed on the top bunk...

And you love Spongebob...

Every single morning. Cereal in a bowl with milk. Specifically. And eat it with you at the table. Always.

I know you think I'm going to say that you're growing up too fast. You expect me to say how much you've grown and how it seems like just yesterday you were my little colicky infant. But I'm going to leave that subject alone and tell you that I get you. I truly get you. A second child myself, I understand that you feel like sometimes no one sees you or hears you. You feel like you are a little lost and a little unknown. You feel a little misunderstood. I get it.

But I want you to know that never, ever has there come into my life such a special person as you. No one so passionate, emotional, loving, tender-hearted and palpable. Sure you challenge me, but I see through it like the ocean of sweet independence that it is.

Ruby, you're in my pocket, you're tucked into the background, right where I want you. To keep you safe, to protect you, and to wait for the right moment to unleash your omnipotence on the world.

Happy 4th Birthday, little girl.