Talked to Ruby again today about peeing. She says it's boring. And she's super sick of it. And sometimes she can't make it to the toilet because she wants to keep playing. Playing all the time, every second.
And peeing is boring.
Oh, the Issues.
When we attended Pa's viewing on Friday, our mood was heavy with reality. It was quiet and solemn as we entered the viewing room and walked past our loved one. But as we came back out into the hall, a flurry of voices could be heard. The hall was completely full of the Radman family that Pa had created. There were cousins and siblings who loved each other, tossing back smiles and laughter. It was a room of love fit for a king and I think we knew who would have loved it most.
Lillie sees and wants some sucker.
Oh, Lill, here's a lick!
Stick out your tongue!
That tastes so very good!
She owns the world at this moment.
Dad, seriously, Cinderella. She knows me!
Me and my sticky-faced lover baby.
Just a little girl in the world..
So sunny, Mommy.
Two different girls.
Stopped to snack on Ruby's cheek, OH, I mean McDonald's fries and Powerade.
'Bout to fly away.
Somebody's peeved. Ruby, you can't ride the teacups lookin' like that.
Loving each other on the roller coaster.
Teacups, finally. Showing the happy tongue.
Jake and girls right before they got soaked.
Purely for documentation. Not my modeling audition photo. I took that one earlier in the day.
It's bound to happen. Someone looks you up and down and has a sentence or two about what you're like, who they think you are. I nod and agree. They're partially right. But they don't know you like we do. How could they possibly? I look at the ground and six years flash by and feel like a thousand. The gap in your teeth, the smell of your little girl sweat, your smiling eyes, the click of your heels.
These little things and you are what make me a mother.
Now you stretch to the middle of my ribcage. That's how tall you are. Your belly that was once so two-years-old, so full and round, has formed into a girly waist.
You are kind and thoughtful. You remember everything about people. You are interested in the moon.
There are times when our minds wrestle each other for control. Sometimes you win, sometimes I do. You come to me when you're afraid. Sometimes you cry like a baby. You rely on me for gentle comfort. I hang onto your hugs for seconds longer than you ever want to. And you let me.
This year, your birthday falls on a day when your Great-Grandfather is very ill. He is a great man and has given you a family that loves you very much. One that I am privileged to have married into. This time of life is a blunt reminder of how quickly it flies.
You have shot up from the ground, into the sky and I struggle to keep up. You're six, and stunningly beautiful. You'll always be my first love. My very first fist full of warmth and love. My heart-opener. I'll never forget it.