Monday, April 28, 2008

Pinky Promise

Bulletin to Ruby and all other children of the nation:

Stop peeing on the couch. Stop peeing on the throw pillows. I know you're too lazy to get up and walk to the toilet. Or maybe it's not laziness (ex: you can run in circles for hours and scream just for fun, so I know you have lots of energy). You see, I have a tiny washing machine and dryer. And when I have to wash pillows and couch cushion covers I become very grumpy and start speaking harshly to anyone that comes near me, and limbs are therefore at the mercy of my very tight grip. Why is this funny for you? Why does it feel nice to squat on a pillow and feel warm urine eeking from your body, through your undies and dress, and onto a pillow that mommy and daddy bought? Who knows. I would like to know. Why do you feel like you can touch the wet pillow afterward? When have I ever taught you that this is ok? How can your skinny, cute little body cause so many problems for our household?

I took the leaf out of the middle of our table today. We just needed more room in our "kitchen" (I laugh at the mere use of that word as it pertains to our townhome because our "kitchen" is very small). So I took the leaf out. The girls have never been so happy in their lives. The squealing, "It's so CUTE!!!!" and, "It's a little tiny, tiny BABY TABLE!!!!" and, "Mommy, I'm SO GLAD you did that!!!" The mundane things can make them so happy, and it drives me to wonder: if I make your kitchen table smaller will you stop peeing on my furniture? Can we just shake on that? Pinky promise?

8 comments:

ausellebelle said...

haha Sarie ... I love reading your posts ... most of which contain references to pee :) lucky they are gorgeous girls ... and you should totaly take dance lessons .. I just went to my first break dancing class last night and going there I felt like the biggest dork but by the end it was great ... I just look at it as fun exercise! :) love ya xo

Missy said...

I do love reading your posts. I can just imagine the girls saying just that. And Ruby...she sounds just like my niece (at that age). Having too much fun to stop and go to the bathroom.

You are SO close to having your little girl. I'm jealous.

Kristie said...

I love the comment - "when have I ever taught you that this is ok" - you wonder what goes through their dainty little minds that makes them think it's ok to wee in beds, poo in the bath, spray your expensive perfume around the house like it's air freshener, eat off their plate like they are a dog..i could go on. Life would be boring without these moments..wouldn't it??

LeDoux said...

bwhahahaha. sarie. you are a riot. oh ruby. i mean, what kind of karma do you and jake have to have such a ........um.....special child. naturally naughty, yes. naturally beautiful, yes. naturally does not take to discipline, yesyesyes.
xoxo

Lori said...

I am telling you, Ruby and leah must text eachother and plot against their mommies because Leah in fact did pee on the couch approx 3 hours and 27 minutes ago. NO JOKE. And when I ask her why she mumbles something like "cuz, I I I wanted to go in the potty!" I sometimes wonder if she wsa stuck in the birth canal a little too long.

Celeste said...

You are so funny... and I am so sorry that you have such a urine problem in your family... although I love hearing the stories. ...yeah though that taking the leaf out of your table made them so happy!

S.A.S. said...

I'm supposed to be frantically working, and I'm near pulling my hair out... but THIS was worth the blog break. You kill me. Your daughters ka-ZILL me, and I really want to meet them (and you) one day. Ruby, stop peeing on the couch (but it's so hilarious to read about).

~Mel said...

Ha Ha Ha. That is the same thing I said to Hillary last week after she broke her hand "surfing" down the slide. When Markus asked me what happened, I told hime and I added that I have told the kids "a million" times to slide down on their bums. Hillary promptly replys, "You never told me that!" I said, "Well, listen up! Just for the record, we only slide DOWN the slide on our BUMS!" Nuff said.