Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Went to the beach a few times with some great friends visiting Florida (a friend for me and a friend for Grace!). Cocoa Beach, Clearwater Beach, Pier 60, Frenchy's Rockaway Grill and some interesting pregnancy self portraits. Don't ask me what the fascination is this time around.. maybe I just know how fast it all goes.

And just this evening, some thoughts on American Idol by Grace:

"Mom. I know how you can get on that concert on TV. You get a song and you need to do it good and you get a song and then you get a microphone and some shoes and you get some earrings and then you go on the concert."

Monday, April 28, 2008

Pinky Promise

Bulletin to Ruby and all other children of the nation:

Stop peeing on the couch. Stop peeing on the throw pillows. I know you're too lazy to get up and walk to the toilet. Or maybe it's not laziness (ex: you can run in circles for hours and scream just for fun, so I know you have lots of energy). You see, I have a tiny washing machine and dryer. And when I have to wash pillows and couch cushion covers I become very grumpy and start speaking harshly to anyone that comes near me, and limbs are therefore at the mercy of my very tight grip. Why is this funny for you? Why does it feel nice to squat on a pillow and feel warm urine eeking from your body, through your undies and dress, and onto a pillow that mommy and daddy bought? Who knows. I would like to know. Why do you feel like you can touch the wet pillow afterward? When have I ever taught you that this is ok? How can your skinny, cute little body cause so many problems for our household?

I took the leaf out of the middle of our table today. We just needed more room in our "kitchen" (I laugh at the mere use of that word as it pertains to our townhome because our "kitchen" is very small). So I took the leaf out. The girls have never been so happy in their lives. The squealing, "It's so CUTE!!!!" and, "It's a little tiny, tiny BABY TABLE!!!!" and, "Mommy, I'm SO GLAD you did that!!!" The mundane things can make them so happy, and it drives me to wonder: if I make your kitchen table smaller will you stop peeing on my furniture? Can we just shake on that? Pinky promise?

Thursday, April 24, 2008


For those of you who have children who have been in school, gone to high school, gone to college and beyond, forgive my faint heart, but I have a problem. I can't seem to let go. Grace hasn't gone to preschool for many reasons, the excuses including: she plays enough with kids during the week to save myself 100 bucks a month sending her to preschool, I didn't go to preschool, I am teaching her bit by bit at home, and she will be going to school straight through for about 13 years, so I thought I'd give her as much time off as I can before that starts. But the real reason is very hard to articulate. It has something to do with an invisible umbilical cord, and a fear of her being influenced strongly by people other than me. The explanation also includes things like, the appreciation I have for her shiny black hair and the way she fights for order in every situation, her plump lips when they set in frustration, and the way I UNDERSTAND all those things without explanation. There's a fear that something in her will be stifled by someone calling her a mean name or telling her she's not good at something. This sounds ridiculous, but I know no other way to explain it.

So this year, Grace is going into Kindergarten. This strikes fear and panic in my heart. What if no one cares about her? What she gets lost on the way to the girl's bathroom and goes missing? What if the other kids are mean to her? What if she needs to talk to me and can't? What will happen during that long day that she will forget to tell me and will never be remembered? What if she gets embarrassed and has to go in the corner to have a little cry? Who will comfort her and tell her that everything's alright?

I went to Kindergarten and fell in love. With two boys. The three of us would play duck, duck, goose together and one of them even held my freckly little Sarah Jean Medley hand. Now that is a big step and my mother didn't know, or at least I don't think she knew about it. I want to KNOW about it. The ups and downs.

It's strange feeling vulnerable again. I felt this way when I brought her home from the hospital. What if she gets a fever or rash or a cold? What will I do then? What if she stops eating? Or stops breathing? What if I wake up and she's gone? All these questions were quickly answered and there was little thought that in five years I would be worried about much bigger things. Her little brain and her little heart, so untouched by the cruel outside world. What she knows now is that her parents are usually the bomb, that her grandparents adore her as well as her aunts and uncles, and that swimming and milkshakes constitute the past month and a half of our life.

But she can't stay in that world forever, I know that to be true. If she did, she'd never influence this massive population for the better. And that's why I'm raising my girls the best that I can-- so they can make the world better. I know she will thrive in school and really and truly love it, I just hope I can survive it all.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

She's Back

My sister Miriam is home from her mission! She served in San Antonio Texas, Spanish. We all missed her so much! The picture of all of us sisters (we also have three brothers) was taken outside the Sacramento Temple in 2006. My parents drove down from Eureka, CA, and the rest of us drove out from Utah to meet for a temple trip.
Here are my brothers and me. They're a riot:
And here are my parents:

My mom looks little but don't be fooled, she's the cornerstone of our family and I [actually] miss her perfectly organized Saturdays! I wish we could all be together, but that won't happen until January when everyone comes back from their distant parts of the world. No matter where you are, having family around means you are home. I'm so lucky to be living around Jake's family, because it feels the same way.

So a big welcome home to Miriam. I am so proud of her and the 18 months of service she's put in. Sacrifice, day after day, to share our gospel to thousands of people. Glad to have her concert-piano-playing, deep-thought-harboring, humorous-remark-making self back in the real world (we need her here now to keep us righteous).

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

30 Weeks

So there's this job, it's supposed to be one of the most sought-after positions in the nation. I looked into it. Here are the details: You go to an orientation for the company. You meet with the directors and they tell you the basics. How many days you work, what effect the job has on your daily life, the demands of the position, etc. They do not mention pay (compensation) at this time.

The most interesting aspect of this job is they have a computer program where you can create your own manager. Once you create your manager, you have no say in how that manager fits with your personality. It can be difficult considering this manager, even if you stand your ground, almost always wins control. You are stuck with this person (or people, depending on how many managers you request) forever and there is no option to change once one is assigned. This job is demanding, and a GOOD day with your new manager consists of 5,000 more tasks than you ever had with previous managers! Job compensation is still not discussed at this time.

After you have agreed to most details, you are then asked to go through a company initiation process. Not all have to do the initiation, but 95% of incoming employees do. This is rigorous, and something that this company is known for! Access to their hiring systems reveal the truth about this process. A new employee is to lay down on her back on a padded table. She is tied with hand and foot restraints. A weight is lowered from the ceiling and gently placed directly on her hip and pelvic area. The weight starts out at 5lbs. Throughout the initiation, more weight is added, until the harness above the pelvis weighs 30lbs. When the process comes to an end is when the initiation takes a painful turn. The weight harness is finally lifted off the pelvic area and then lowered several times in rapid succession until the employee can hardly stand or walk. Welcome to the company! You are given your job task directly after the initiation and expected to perform well.

After you are hired and you meet your manager, you begin to realize that the directors glazed over a lot of details in the orientation! The actual demands of the job are as follows:

7 day work weeks.
3 days off per year maximum (days may NOT be taken off in succession, but are a cumulative of hours and minutes taken for oneself. Many times the job is too demanding to take even 1 day off. Spouses may or may not be understanding of your need for time off).
The job is physically demanding, even after the initiation.
More initiation sessions may be required, some planned, some a total surprise.
You will wear the scars of this job your entire life which include but are not limited to, weight gain, bad skin, saggy boobs, brain malfunction, emotional strain, some psychotic behavior, laughter at all things morose, longing for more, constantly being needed for something and an eternal case of cabin fever.
This job is met by the public with several different reactions including but not limited to, disdain, admiration, jealousy, fascination, pity, disgust, annoyance, judgement and intolerance.

Pay will either be handed out in undetermined and unannounced increments, or in many scenarios, may not be determined until the end of your tenure (up to 60 years later).

Monday, April 14, 2008

Today's Faces

Today's accomplishments.
1. Put stickers on each other.
2. Cried because 2 hrs is just too long to keep the BandAid ON, Mom.
3. Cleaned the girls' room while I was on the phone. They dumped the toys back out 1 hour later.
4. Girls had a couple of screaming tournaments, Grace won.
5. Thought about taking a shower.
6. Thought a little about weight gain.
7. Ate some Heath miniatures.
8. Read a conference talk.
9. Tried out my new memory card (30MB per second, babe).
10. Tried not to think about (and hid from) all the things I didn't do today.

Friday, April 11, 2008

My New Daytime

It was 4 in the morning. I had gone to sleep at 1:30. I woke up to Ruby whimpering, which is completely normal. I usually just ride the sound wave or go in her room and drag the blankets up to her neck until she is snuggled in. As I lay there, I felt our new baby kick, kick, kick. This is going to be my new "daytime" come June! So I hoisted (every pregnant woman knows what I mean by this word) myself out of bed and dragged myself into the girls' room. Ruby was still whimpering and doing this weirdo, "eh, eh, eh". A cross between coughing and clearing her throat. Usually Grace tells her, "Ruby just do, AHEM!!" Ruby does not get the concept.

Jake is sleeping the night at his parent's house with his little sister while his parents are out of town, so I'm on my own... I creep up to her bed and see that she's thrown up a little on her pillow, and has yet to lay in it. My luck! I quickly scoop her up before she gets it in her hair and we go to the bathroom to see if she has any more. Grace is awake now and quickly at my heels to gawk at her little sister, expecting her to do something "super gross". Ruby lays her head on my lap and her body stretches out on the bathroom rug. Grace inches her face toward her little sister and says, "Aw, poor little girl." I smile at her in spite of the hour.

I get Ruby changed and back in bed.. stroke her hair for a few minutes. She lets me snuggle her so tight, and never pulls away. She lets me put my nose to hers and we breathe the same air. Her physical closeness will always be her gift to me, and I love it. And she's back to sleep. I am not so lucky with Gracie. I climb in her bed for a moment, all the world is still quiet and dark and she promptly tells me that we should name our new baby Mark and that "wouldn't it be a great name for her, wouldn't it Mommy??" Yes, yes, it would be Gracie. That's a good name. Yes. Now go to sleep, ok? Ok, Good night. I haul my body off the bed once more (gets harder and more painful each time. It's 5a.m. now).

A minute and a half snuggled up against my body pillow, my whole body in a state of extreme fatigue, and I am on the edge of something sleepy... something wonderful... Grace comes in, walking softly. I think she thinks it took me one minute to fall asleep and she is just going to sneak on in. I let her come in, climb under the covers, and I reach over and rub her arm. She gently pushes my hand away. She burrows her head next to me in my pillow, but won't let me stroke her hair because she still has a lot to say. "Daddy's taking a long time with Jessie", and "Throwing up is not nice, huh?" and (kicking her leg against the mattress repeatedly) "It is SO LATE I am SO TIRED". Until 5:30. And then her breathing slows down, and we all drift finally into something resembling a good night's sleep.

She wakes up like a firecracker a little before eight muttering something about needing to spray some of my perfume on her neck. As she rummages through my bathroom cupboard for the perfect scent, Ruby wakes up. She has been lethargic and clingy all day, but I don't mind. Give me a girl anyday who feels sick but hardly throws up. The perfect child! Now I've got two girls who are in the "sick bed" together and who both empthatically insisted I open the bedroom window because, "Sick girls need fresh air!"

This is a good life we live.

Thursday, April 10, 2008


Every night.. kids are in bed, it's about 9pm, I've been hungry since 5 minutes after dinner, I decide to have my nightly snack. Sliced strawberries, mixed with a bit of sugar. Sometimes add some sliced nectarines or some sliced cantelope...
And I chow. It is officially my favorite part of the day. And look! I get crafty sometimes! Here are the four blankets I made for the new baby. That's three more than I made for Grace and four more than I made for Ruby... Since this one's getting all hand-me-down clothes, I thought I could wrap her in something pretty.
I've been busy getting my Florida Real Estate License. It's taking forever. The Florida RE commission is a bit picky and they send me lots of letters about fingerprints, fees, etc. All the classes are online, though, which is a stark difference from Utah! I'm thankful for that.

Update on my neighbor: She had her baby, a new little girl. She now has six kids and her husband is STILL in jail about the probation thing... She leaves her newborn home by herself a lot to take the kids to and from school. But who am I to judge??

Explanation: Grace's belly button became infected when she put the Shredded Wheat crumbs in it and rubbed them around a bit, creating numberous abrasions (since the crumbs are kind of sharp), which turned into these little sores. But I own a tube of Neosporin, and we are fixed. So it wasn't like the crumbs were in there for weeks growing mold... I bathe her at least every three days, ok people??

Friday, April 04, 2008

Weekly News:

-Grace stuck Shredded Wheat crumbs in her belly button and it got infected.
-We decided the dog that resembles Jake the most in shape and personality is the English Bulldog (he used to love Labs before we got married, but he's gained some weight).
-Some of us still walk around carrying a large volume of flem in our nasal area. Mostly me.
-Thanks to all your lovely comments on my preg picture, I can read back on them when I'm feeling like crap.
-Ruby will not go in the pool if there is an ant in the water. And there are lots of flying ants in Florida.
-I'm officially in my third trimester.... which is not an equal division of three, the third IS the longest.
-The biggest laugh of the week: Jake and I watching a girl on The Bachelor having uncontrollable hiccups.
-The second biggest "laugh" of the week: Ruby's uncontrollable diarrhea.

*Extra bonus weekend tip: Don't leave powdered lemonade mix on the kitchen counter and then go take a shower. Especially if my kids are around. They might just take it in the living room and mix the entire container with water to make a giant tub of lemonade. Apparently, that's every pre-schooler's dream.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

28 Weeks

Eeeehhhhrrruuuuummmmphhhhhhhhhh. I persuade, remind and force people to show me pictures of them pregnant because I love it. I don't love it so much when it's me. Here's an Ode To The Chub (otherwise known as the "glow of pregnancy")--- I will not miss you when you're gone. And that clock behind me is ticking mighty slow.