A record.

Hiking on the 5th of July (otherwise known as walking through the mountains in flip flops).

So something exciting happened on Friday. I received the blog book that I ordered from Blurb. It was the entire year of 2009, in a book. Printed. Bound. 220 pages. All of my journaling on this blog, coupled with my photos posted... in a book. Did I mention it was printed and bound? With a line at the bottom of each page that says the day of the week, the time, the date and the year it was posted. I am SO GLAD I live in this century. The century of blogging where I can journal all of the little things about my life and my children's lives.

I love this method of journaling. I love it because it works for me. It's easy. As easy as it can possibly get!

Looking at the book and all my time and work I put into it over the past year, I know it was worth every minute. My life, our lives, recorded.

I got this quote from a blog of a woman (Amy Jackson) who passed away recently of cancer. Her story breaks my heart. She wrote this:

KEEP A JOURNAL. Over the past few years, I have had a nagging feeling that I need to be writing in a journal and keeping a personal history for my children. Unfortunately, I refused to heed this prompting, and now I am left wondering how many things I might have been able to share with my children over the past few years that are now feelings and thoughts that may be difficult or even impossible to recall and write. I have wondered what will my children remember about me? What advice would I like to leave for them? What experiences would I like to share with them? And what memories and history will they be able to share with their children about me? Unfortunately it is impossible to know how much time I will have to compile such a life's history. My time is too short. Life is too short. I may never be able share all of the things that I might have shared if I had written in a journal on a regular basis. Keep a journal... Write in it often... Share your personal thoughts and feelings... don't procrastinate... and above all else always show your family how much you love them. You never know when your life may be turned upside down in a flash.

Sunday Photos

My life's soundtrack is this.

Giggling.
Whining.
Eating.
Drinking.
Playing.
Singing.
Chattering.
Caring.
Tattling.
Asking.
Demanding.
Screaming.

Loving.

New and Important

Lillie's like a bubbly soda that swirls around me constantly as I care for my littlest Matilda.

I can see a progression. Matilda turns in to that (2) who turns into that (5) and then she turns into that (7). Milestones anticipated, reached, and then forgotten, suddenly in the past.

Like today, Lillie started something new. It's called possession. And imaginative play. Actually it happened last night in the car on the way home from Cafe Rio. She had a little frog and and a little dog in her hand and she did a nonsense voice for the frog followed by a nonsense voice for the dog.

And bam. She's older, and a little smarter. Today she carried a collection of toys with her, certain ones that mean something to her. She moved the group with her wherever she went. This is new and important just now.

Matilda moved from a newborn, to a newborn with acne, and past acne and onto those little heat-sensitive red dots on her skin. She doesn't go cross-eyed anymore. She doesn't slump over like a noodle anymore. She hears things in her sleep and they actually wake her up now. Little things, moving her toward some other kind of baby. The type that eventually rolls over and sits up.

And the older girls are... amazing us every step. They cause various degrees of frustration, complication, joy, elation and stress. But most of all, it's things like the conversation they had with my brother Jared over the weekend that leaves my mouth agape.

It was 7:40. I told them they had exactly 20 minutes of (non-fighting) play time up on Grace's bed and when that time was up, it was time to sleep. No complaints. I left the room. Jared went in there a few minutes later, the star uncle that he is, and made some light conversation with them. Were they having a good summer? Were they excited about school?

Finally Grace said, "Jared, you're WASTING our playing time! We can't talk anymore." He laughed. He  walked out and before the girls continued playing he heard her say, "Now that THAT'S over...".

Just hilarious. And kind of mean. And grown up. And unbelievable. Not very polite. But really really funny.

Happy Birthday Little Darling

Those last two photos... push up the lump in my throat. Until it spreads through my face and makes my eyes sting.

You have no idea how awesome you are.

Like my mom said this evening, "Deep in my heart, I mean to say something different, something breathtaking, something unspeakable."

My girl. Turning two. With that neck and that hair and those lips and those hands and those chunky feet and that back and that brain and your pretty little spine.

You and I climbed to the top of a little hill with beautiful grass and sun all around. We were alone up there.

I would have snatched you if I could, sprinted toward the nearest peak and gone running in the air, flying with you in my arms, past farms and buildings and lakes. Laughing in the clouds for a bit. You'd like that, to be an only child for a few hours, seeing things only you are strong enough to see. It would be nice to be in that place with just me and you, no interruptions.

You are so old in that mind and heart. Your body only has to catch up.

xoxoxoxo a million times over.

Mama.

Sunday Photos

A photo on the front porch on Saturday and a visit up to Great Nan's on Sunday.

Jake's Grandmother, she's one of Jake's greatest loves. She has taught me so much, including how to hold Grace tighter when she was just a newborn. She knows all the tricks and she has so much insight to share from her life. We love her so much and are happy to be near her. I wish I could go back in time and watch her take care of her little ones. She did a fantastic job.

...Our little screamer turns TWO tomorrow!

A Big Deal

Today, one of my favorite photographers wrote this post about Pertussis (Whooping Cough). It's short, read it!

She lost her 7-week-old baby to this disease. Can you imagine giving birth to a perfectly healthy, sturdy, blonde baby boy, and only weeks later, wind up in the hospital, thinking it's the sniffles, then diagnosed with RSV?? Then, only just after that, diagnosed with Pertussis. A communicable disease that is preventable. Her baby passed away. With all the medical help available to him, he still passed away.

Matilda gets her first round of immunizations (including Pertussis, Tetanus, and ones that help prevent Pneumonia and Meningitis) in a week or so.

Jake and I got the adult vaccine for Pertussis (Tdap) at our local health department a few weeks ago. My pediatrician advised anyone coming in contact with an infant under 12 months of age get this shot. It was $49. Totally worth it. The vaccine you got when you were younger was only good for 10 years.

Just one human life is so very valuable.



From babycenter.com:

Pertussis
Pertussis, better known as whooping cough, is a very contagious bacterial infection and one of the most common vaccine-preventable childhood diseases. Whooping cough causes coughing spells so severe that it's hard for children to eat, drink, or breathe. It can lead to pneumonia, seizures, brain damage, and death.

Before the vaccine was introduced in the 1940s, about 147,000 U.S. children came down with whooping cough every year. The number of cases in the United States dropped to a historic low of 1,010 in 1976 but then rose again, with more than 25,000 reported in 2005 as adolescents who had been vaccinated as babies lost their immunity and more babies went unvaccinated. 

To counter this trend, an additional shot called the Tdap is now recommended at age 11 or 12. And one Tdap shot is also recommended, now, for adults who didn't have one during adolescence. Getting yourself vaccinated helps to protect your infant and other infants you're around.

Whooping cough remains a serious health problem among children in other parts of the world.

Holding your place.

That little face that is only mine.

You're getting older, you're getting better with Matilda. You're getting better with me, if only slightly. You're holding your place steady.

There have been times when I wasn't sure what you wanted and I had to leave you erupting on the floor by yourself. There have been times that I turned right around and hurried down the hall toward you, scooped you into me and sat on the floor and rocked. You liked that part.

You're tanky and tough and you remember so much for your age. You remember to tell Daddy when he gets home from work that "Mommy, mimmies (swimming), me, no no", which refers to much earlier in the day when I dropped Grace off at the pool with a friend and you couldn't go. I mean seriously, eight hours later?

You have a nonsense word, "Dahguy!" that you use for most scenarios. It works for everything. In place of "yucky, that one, watering the garden, (and any other word)". Dad and I say it to each other all the time. He calls and says he's going to be home late and I reply, "DAHGUY!". I ask him if he wants a sandwich and he says... well, you know the rest. It's right up there with "meemink (binky)" in your frequently used words pool.

So we take it a day at a time. I try to understand you and witness you changing before my eyes, a little bit each day. I love to talk to you about bugs. That's a subject that gets you going. Or birdies, bottles, babies and bees.

My fierce little thing. Your mother sits back and bites her fingernails in heavy anticipation of what you will someday become.

Better than...

A pan of caramel brownies.
Fresh baked bread.
The ocean.
A handmade quilt.
A tan.
Ice cold watermelon.
A fresh salad.
Being skinny.
A good conversation.

She is better, so much better.

Gifts.

Jake's Father's day was nice and relaxing. We decided not to give each other gifts for Father's and Mother's day anymore. Special treatment and zero responsibilities that day as well as homemade cards from the kids and home cooked meals. That's what the day will now consist of. It all started with a realization that I don't want to get stuck home the day before Mother's day, babysitting the kids, while he's out shopping for something that I don't necessarily need. It's just so commercialized. Besides, it gives me a little more "wiggle room" when out shopping for myself another day. But shhhhhhhh!

It does make for the most relaxing day. No pressure of gift-giving, and me making sure he can really take a break (which is actually way more work than just handing him a present!!).

Also, there are about a thousand photos of Jake sleeping with the kids. I need to learn something from this...

Soon she'll resist...

But for now, it's make-out time.