Evolution of a Holiday.

 Colors of the laundry.

 Paper bag puppets.

 Tadd having a quick nappy.

Playing well together for a minute. 

Lillie becoming one of the older girls. 

Ponies left all alone (at least they have each other). 

Sad about something. 

A pink milk fix. 

Perpetual mess. 

Beauty, 8 years old. 

Ruby reading in Lillie's bed. 4-girl separation/quiet time punishment for fighting. 

Punishment served, eventually earned Lego Star Wars time with young spectators. 

Lill's window hair. 

It's nice to have a photo documentary of a bit of our day on Monday. Will these girls look back on this time? Will they treasure it? Will they only have the memories they can't exactly remember, but they can only feel? I have some of those kind.

I come up for air and see all that I have. Recognize it, appreciate it. Squeeze in talks with each of them here and there. Try so hard to listen and put away my lists, my phone, my chores. Try my very hardest to be present...

Evolution of a Morning: Lillie and Tadd.

Looking up. 

 "More?"

 Watching Dolthin (dolphin) documentary.

 Curly toes.

Baggy pants.

Watching Lillie watching birds. 

Watching birds. 

Baby in a box. 

Fixing baby's box bed. 

Up high. 

Spittle. 

Organizing the children. 

Worried about dolphins biting porpoises. 

Evidence of a love day. 

Sharing. 

Not sharing. 

Monkey toes. 

Me and baby. 

Kissy! 

Another! 

Lillie moving around Tadd and her baby doll. 

Baby legs. 

Tired mama and her chickens. 

Lillie looking grown. 

Pants on head. 

Pants on head, with sister. 

A specimen that rivals all specimens.

As you can see, the day unravels until pretty soon, someone's naked and the house is a mess. Didn't get too much done today but DID make dinner at least. I call that a success! 

Futures.

Impatience bubbled out of my ears and flowed down my shoulders and I had to do something. We had been sick all weekend, Jake is out of town, we have spent days, weeks and months stuck inside, and I had to do something. So I put the girls in the bath like I typically do. Added hot water every 20 minutes and let them make a massive mess. I adjusted my attitude. And I got my camera and got my baby out of the bath, powdered, diapered her, jammies and hair combed.

I took just a few photos and forced myself to see the little things again. The things that make my eyes brim with happy tears. Tada's thin baby hair wet from the bath, combed behind her ears. That spot at Grace's dresser is always her first stop, posing her ponies just so. 20 months and she rocks imaginative play. Not necessarily with English, but still...

Full time parenting is enough to send one screaming for the hills. I roll up my sleeves to receive the 49 blows that gain me the 50th: a glimpse into bliss of the most beautiful, an endless space where our futures braid together with love.

Calm.

I read to the older girls tonight, James and the Giant Peach. My voice bouncing off the thin walls as the younger two fell asleep in the neighboring rooms. Grace on one arm, Ruby on the other, we went through chapter after chapter. Curiosity mounted when James had an idea. He would rope some seagulls and the peach would fly. 

Right then, their world got magical. It's happened a million times before, when that warm feeling in your heart seems tangible. When you know you are where you should be. When all is right. They smile, the sparkle in their eyes stinging my cheeks. I smile back, and hang on their excitement until the last bit drips slowly into my palms. They're growing up. But not tonight.

We finished chapter 24 and they finished whining and I kissed them and they kissed me back, I turned out the light and went to check on the little girls. Tada lets out a sleepy little hoarse cry. Her nose is stuffy and she can't get comfortable. My hands run over her hair and onto her cheeks and I turn her on her side to tuck her in. Lillie is asleep in my bed so I carry her into her room like I do every night. Her body curled up and quiet for the first time today. She's so calm when she sleeps, her eyelids shut so tight.

Another day gone and the future is bright.