Matilda Mae

...makes my heart throb.

Holiday, Snow, and Sunday Photo.

We had a fantastic Thanksgiving. I roasted my first turkey and hosted my family here, so I hardly took any photos... But don't worry, I made time to make sure I wasn't hungry... all day long. Not even for a second.

My sister in law slicing an onion for part of the meal. 

The way I love to see my couch. Full of people talking and laughing (and eating and drinking). My space is small, but my family doesn't mind!

The beautiful pie that Lynn made.

What the women in our family do at every gathering. Hang out in the kitchen, talk about the mysteries of the world and nibble. The best conversations happen in the kitchen!

My sister in law Lynn cooking giblets in preparation for the stuffing. 

Today's Sunday Photo.

It hasn't stopped snowing since... well, since sometime during my intermittent sleep last night. It snowed all night, all morning, all day... this photo was taken at 4pm, as Jake shoveled the driveway. Now, an hour or so later, the driveway looks un-shoveled again because of all the snow fall. Tada snuck out for a few seconds just for the photo, but the other three stayed out long enough to get a chill burn on their cheeks.

And after the driveway's done, what comes next? Front-yard sledding courtesy of Daddy.

Thanks and Giving.

I've been thinking about getting a new camera... but the dang thing costs so much. I have a mental block when it comes to spending money, I just can't get over the hump. And when I finally do, I feel nauseous for a good few days...

Anyway, if I had a new camera, this shot would have been sharp. No motion blur, no grain... sharp. But truthfully, I am in love with it just the way it is. It looks like a dream. A dream of Lillie's fluff.

One of my favorite shots to date, all possible with my trusty old 60D.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Our turkey is brining in the fridge... going to taste juicy tomorrow. It was exactly a year ago on Thanksgiving that I felt Matilda kick in my tummy for the very first time.

Happy Thanksgiving.

And --- Jake's brother wrote a beautiful letter about his friend that passed away suddenly, leaving a wife and two daughters behind. It happened only a couple of weeks ago. Read it here on their blog. Makes me want to live more fully and try way harder.

xoxoxo

Photographs by Ruby.

Baby and me.

Food-art.

The girls love when I make them "food-art". No sort of grand plan, just grab whatever's in the fridge. This one's pickles, string cheese, gogurt, shredded cheese and flour tortilla. A caterpillar walking in the grass on a sunny day. Or floating rather...

In other news, Matilda is almost crawling and almost sitting up... She teases us! I look at her face every single day and think of how I couldn't live without her. Like if she was gone I'd drop dead. She's that brand new Christmas present and the novelty, even after six months, has never worn off.

A blizzard's blowing in. I love how cold November gets and how bright the Christmas lights glow (even before Thanksgiving). The inside of the house is so warm and I wear boots almost constantly. January and February will come bringing bleak and frozen dismay but until then, I'm going to drink hot chocky and be so grateful for all that we have.

Sunday Photo

Just a quick one before church. There is a shadow on Grace's face which I hate, but I love everything else about it. They're such a wild bunch... and my heart breaks for each one of them for a different reason.

I remember what used to happen when I had the upcoming holiday week off of school. I would sleep in, go to work (where I was highly appreciated and rewarded monetarily), grab some Wendy's, stop off at Barnes N Noble and read a bit of a novel. Put it back on the shelf, grab some hot chocolate and what else?? Maybe go to a movie?

Oh mama, those days are gone. These chicks don't sleep in when they have a week off of school. What would be the point of that? And even if they did... errands (mostly the kind where you get out of the car) are out of the question.

But look at 'em. What's not to love?

Staying Young.

Jake riding his motorcycle at Little Sahara dunes, Utah.

Let's just cross our fingers he doesn't get hurt...

Thursday.

She has a couple of hours in the morning when she's the boss of the house. She's much calmer and more confident without anyone trying to mother her or take things from her. Her mouth is pure goodness, her skin as clear as the caribbean and she's got a messy pile of toes just like me.

Tada has croup so we're all babying her until she gets better. I went to Sara Bareilles' show last night with my sisters. FANtastic!!

This mama is tired and happy.

Chasm.

My doobies.

Moments before she was clocked in the head with a Nativity character by Lillie the destroyer.

Ruby is an unknown chasm. Her eyes go as deep as a few planets' worth of distance. Perhaps even a few galaxies. She holds many many secrets and every day is a step toward her growing up and becoming "real". I dread that change in her.

But for now, what a perfectly innocent little bird.

Six Months

She was born to me six months ago. I am so grateful for her, I could kiss the sky.

Sunday Photo

Get ready Lillie, that binky's gone for real this week! Ope--- is that my backbone? Over there in the corner leaning up against the wall? Was looking for it...

The voices in my head say this week will be just like the rest. With ups and downs and mental institutions. Bedtime routine being what it currently is, there will be some violence. Not against children, but against toys that are innocently resting in my path when my patience goes to bed for the night. Sorry, toys, you might get kicked... Mama's tired.

There is so much going on in the world. Even in my tiny little circle of acquaintance there is divorce, death, loss, heartbreak, disappointment, loneliness and despair. I soak up what could be, and for now, count myself lucky that somehow things are going really well for us. We have enough. We're lively. And I hope it stays that way.

Not convinced we party? Look at Matilda's face.

Links

I came across some great links today that I hadn't seen before for ways you can help with what is happening around the world. Thought I'd pass them on...

Camfed sponsors girls for education in Africa. It pays fees, helps them manage menstruation and other challenges, and encourages them to “give back” once they have completed their education.

Afghan Institute of Learning supports girls’ education in Afghanistan and border areas of Pakistan. It is run by an Afghan woman, Sakena Yacoobi, who manages to run schools that the Taliban doesn’t burn down.

Tostan has been extraordinarily successful in overcoming female genital cutting in West Africa, and in training women and men alike and creating opportunities for them. It is based in Senegal.

Vital Voices is a Washington-based organization that supports women change-makers around the world, and is particularly staunch against trafficking.

The Fistula Foundation focuses on maternal health and surgery to repair obstetric fistulas, which are horrendous childbirth injuries that leave women incontinent.

BRAC is a Bangladeshi-based organization that focuses on education and empowerment of the very poor. It is one of the most admired development organizations from within the global south, and it is now expanding to Africa and other areas.

Pro Mujer focuses on helping women with reproductive health and small businesses in Latin America.

The Women’s Refugee Commission is an offshoot of the International Rescue Committee that focuses on women refugees, who are among the most vulnerable people on earth.

New Light India runs a shelter for trafficked women in a Calcutta red light district.

International Women’s Health Coalition is a New York-based group that works for women’s health worldwide.

Deworm the World promotes deworming programs. Worms seem to affect girls in particular by leading to anemia, and girls are already at risk of anemia from menstruation.

Global Fund for Women makes grants to innovative women’s programs in developing countries around the world.

Beyond the 11th was founded by two American widows of 9/11, and supports economic empowerment efforts for Afghan women.

Sustainable Health Enterprises, also known as SHE, is committed to lowering the high cost of sanitary pads in many African countries through advocacy work and by producing–and training women to distribute–lower cost products made from local materials.

The BlinkNow Foundation, created by 23 year-old Maggie Doyne, was created to help children receive shelter and education in war-torn countries dealing with extreme poverty. This is what Ms. Doyne accomplished in a remote corner of Nepal, and she hopes to replicate her model in other parts of the world.

Run for Congo Women, organizes runs and walks all over the word–even in Congo–to raise awareness and funds for Women for Women International’s Congo program, which supports female survivors of the ongoing war there.

http://www.globalgiving.org/

http://www.planusa.org/

Here's the main article I read: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/24/magazine/24volunteerism-t.html

Do you ever wonder what your life would be like...

... if Matilda was your baby?

Let me tell you.

She wrestles like a 12 month old.

She's got bread dough for legs.

She's laid back like the Jamaicans.

She lets me get her eye boogers.

She makes me popular in any group setting.

She turns a gray sky blue, commands the white doves to flee their cages and fly right over your house while you sit on the veranda with a cool lemonade.

Today.

Do you ever find yourself in a predicament? And ask yourself, how did I get here?

Today I found myself in Les Schwab Tire repair waiting area with several other men wearing Carthart jackets. Ruby was laying under the coffee table with one shoe on and one shoe off and her head resting on her sweater. Lillie was laying down on the ground by my feet, she was barefoot, with Matilda's blanket around her. Chewing a piece of popcorn she had thrown on the ground a few minutes earlier.

I just held Matilda and watched NFL Primetime.

I gave up and let it all happen.

Fleshy and Beautiful.

........................

I struggle with words to express the amount of emotion I feel when I look through these photos.

It's us, all of us. Together, and documented.

Does anyone else struggle with the decision to get your photos done because, say, you're still 20 pounds over your normal weight? Well, just get them done. You just have to suck it up (and suck it in) and own it, because after all, this is your family.

Once you get over your appearance you will adore adore adore the photos!!!!

Truly love!

Thanks to my brother Jared and wife Lynn who drove around with us to find a spot and worked hard to do this for us.

Lillie won out and got her binkie back temporarily... and if you look closely, you can see Matilda's two (new) bottom teeth!

I looooooooooooove my family. And know how INCREDIBLY lucky I am. All those cheeky little things, they all belong to me.