Tuesday, December 13, 2011

It's hard to find the motivation to visit this space, my little blog. It's interesting how slowly my mind has progressed, moved on, from these confines. There's so many things that have distracted me. Among those, the longing for a bit more privacy, and that I'm so busy photographing families, and that my little ones are excited for a certain Christmas morning of which we are now the parents in charge. We've gone and grown up and had our own family, and as the Christmas cards arrive in my mailbox, I realize that everyone else is growing up, too. And being a "full-fledged family" as my sister-in-law Rebecca calls us, takes more mental energy than I was ever told it would!

I'm always behind. I've got someone's shoulder to rub or hand to hold or someone's angry that I'm not paying attention to them, and people are hungry, tired, dirty, sad and it is most definitely my job to fix it. And the neverending email and calendar and reminder chatter, plus doing something for people that have it way, way, worse than me. I finally get my babies fed, washed up and mentally stable... they climb into bed and all is quiet. I look around and there are little piles of clothes everywhere. Pieces of paper, pencils and toys scattered into the corners. I save it for another day.

That's not to mention documenting our lives. Lives that go by so quickly that sometimes I swear it's just a dream. A jumble of toes and words and warmth, phone calls, weather, laughter, vacuuming and dinner. It's such a good life, such a great fountain of freedom and creation. I love it. I plan to find a balance between work, enjoyment and documentation. I know I can.


LuCDay said...

I know how you feel, but you not blogging and me not blogging are two totally different things. Your posts are like chapters of a favorite book that are given to us little by little. I hope you can find that balance. Love ya!
BTW, watched Grace's recital video, so cute!

chanel said...

reading your blog is like looking into my own life. THAT is why I love reading you, I connect like I have never connected with (a stranger) let alone another person I actually know, like I do when I read your insights, your love for your children, and just your plain realness.
You are just such a BEAUTIFUL writer- I don;t know how you make "little piles of clothes everywhere. Pieces of paper, pencils and toys scattered into the corners" sound special- but YOU DO and it makes me HAPPY! Thank you! Sorry you feel the need for more privacy- probably b/c of oddball stalkers like me!!!
I hope you continue to enjoy this holiday season and just keep living your INCREDIBLE dream!