Monday, August 22, 2011

This morning...


I left you at school today after a long and relaxing summer. On the way there you stared out your window, quiet. Your face, chin, neck, all straining to find someone you knew as we approached your school. You did, and you walked in with Riley. As I left the parking lot, driving away from you all day, my heart dropped. I felt it. Like a real sensation. A literal pressure of gravity, trepidation, anxiousness. I took a breath and that tightness in my throat, it was there. It didn't well into tears like the day you started kindergarten, but it came back like a habit. Subtle.

There's something so unnatural about giving you away to someone else for hours. I could see it as a bird's eye view in my mind, so many other parents doing exactly the same thing as I was today, last week, next week... giving their babies away for another year. Everyone hopeful, nervous, happy for the opportunity for education, and scared to death.

I used to view kids differently. I used to see them as special. But now I see them as so much more. Now they are someone else's child. Someone else's world. I can only hope that people see you that way and treat you the same. 

One day you'll think third graders are so young, such children. But for today, all you see on your horizon is a future of promise. The world is your jewelry box and you only have to pick and choose what you'll have each day. Choose well.

I love you, my girl.


Laurel said...

you = the mom i want to be someday.


as always.

chanel said...

as always, beautiful.
she's so lucky to have you as her mama.

Clarke and Kamie said...

don't make me cry, sarah!!!! waaaaaaaa! I HATE sending them. HATE. I hate thinking that someone gets to be around her, seeing her smile, hearing her giggle, watching her learn and grow. I know it's a great thing, this thing we call school. But somehow I HATE it!

Missy said...

love this. love you sarah. go read the article I posted on my blog from the ny times. you'll get it.

Lindsey said...

You say it so perfectly. I feel the same - I drop my child off to spend hours with someone I don't really "know" and it seems so unnatural.

And seeing children as someone else's world - I get it. So get it.

Kati said...

Oh my sweet friend. You have such a way with beautiful words. We are so alike in so many ways and I feel so special to say that I know you.

You are an amazing, beautiful person.