Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Crawling and Shrieking.

This baby's going to be One on Saturday. A one-year-old in this big world. 

You know when you're at the opera, and the lady sings loud and high? And then higher, and higher, until she hits a note so high you think the windows might burst. You love it, but you also want it to stop. It fills your senses, thrills you and shocks you. 

Well Tada squeals like this but I don't love it, I just want it to stop. During meals is the worst. She'll scream a few times and then I'll watch Jake get up, make a bottle of chocolate milk, and bring it to her in her high chair. "It's the only way" he says in a tight voice. 

She crawls around the house like a shrieking little mammal. Unaware, can't speak english, can't walk more than two steps, uses a diaper, can't dress herself, still sucks her toes, gets into everything. I wonder what will change by the time she's two. She'll most likely be a walking, shrieking mammal that gets into everything.

When Jake gets home from work, she crawls in hyper speed, taking the shortest path through the toys to his feet, and demands to be held. He cannot resist Tada, most people can't. If you do, she makes you pay.

Last night around 11 she woke up. I held her for a long time. I tried to lay her down again in her crib. She cried. I sat back down and rocked her more. The weight of a baby distributed from my chest to my waist is a very familiar feeling. Fuzzy pajamas, restless legs, the sound of her heavy breathing. My fingers traced the roundness of her forehead, her hair, her eyes, her lips and nose. My hand rested between her miniature hipbone and the start of her ribcage. I sighed. And loved.

I hope you are enjoying things so far, Tada. We adore you.


chanel said...

OK, so I have been reading your blog for a while, it must be almost a year- off and on- and I have to tell you that you have the BEST most eloquent writing. You put into words the way I feel so much. You describe the divine special tender moments of a mother so well and I THANK YOU! I wish I could express my feelings as well as you do. I think I might have to start just cutting and pasting your words in my children's' journals. ;) just kidding I'd never- but seriously thank you for helping me think better of how to express my love and gratitude for these little miracles.
your family is precious.

Jennifer - Mommy to 2 said...

I'm a little sad they are turning 1. Seriously what happened to our year? I told someone at work today that Ethan turns 1 tomorrow and she said "What? Already? I feel like I just lost a year of my life." I feel that way too.

Tada screams during dinner too? Ethan's isn't high pitch, but it is LOUD and non-stop. Nothing seems to make him happy. I'm constantly getting up trying to find something that he will be happy to eat. I haven't tried chocolate milk...maybe that's the key. We just want a peaceful dinner...well not peaceful we haven't had that for 3.6 years, but one without constant screaming would be nice.

Melissa said...

Happy Early Birthday to a sweet cute little girl the youngest of 4 cuties screaming trying to make sure everyone knows she is around and that high pitch scream gets her what she wants!! My how smart these little ones are.. They sure do amaze me.. The more I have the more I realize the smarter they get!!!