Monday, July 26, 2010
Sometimes I have those days when I just know I'm living my dream. I feel it so heavy on my chest. The chaos, the mess, the noise, the children and their constance. It's what I've craved for so long and now here I am. The mother of a family with endless potential.
Taking the kids in and out of Sacrament Meeting, glancing at Jake and us shaking our heads in disbelief.
Watching them follow me like little baby birds.
It's what I've always wanted. I love it so much. These little ones are all mine, and I watch them become something every day.
I rocked Lillie to sleep tonight which I haven't done in a long time. She watched me and placed her hand lightly on my neck, right at the spot where my throat meets my collar bone. She rested her fingers there gently. I breathed in and out and pretty soon she was breathing just as heavy, a solid childish mass in my arms.
Tomorrow brings, well, tomorrow. Another week of ins and outs and highs and lows.
I want to spread out what we have. Take our love and happiness and put it in a bushel, put it on an airplane and sprinkle it across our continent, flakes and crumbs spreading out past the pacific and to what lies beyond.
It's the least we could do.