Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Happy Birthday Matilda.





















































 Took our baby doll out on a date to sushi and play time at the beach. 

 Matilda,

It's like I opened a can of soda and you shot right out. Bubbling and jumping and playing and singing and whining and talking and running. The sound of you echoes around the walls of my child-full home. A human can only be stared at for so long and I'm sure you'll start to get tired of it. For now, you don't know any better and the effort and happiness on your beautiful face is so contagious I am caught unaware and constantly find myself unable to physically let go of you.

You're squishy and think you are fast, but you still run like a toddler.

Sometimes you talk way too much and when my overworked cells try to synapse what you are saying over and over and over, I tell you to quiet down. And for a second I remember wondering what you'd be like. What gender you'd be, what hair you would have, how much your infant body would weigh and I just want you to talk on and I try very hard to listen better.

Force me to forget, my Matilda, how long the day seems and how tired I become as the minutes tick by.

Always take me to that place where you can wrap me up like you do your baby dolls... all day... and handle me as gently as you do them.

See in my eyes, in Daddy's eyes, how incredibly and vastly loved and adored you are.

Remember Ruby's hands gently cupping your shoulders each time you are hurt. I hope you can understand that all of these girls live for you. Hinge on being the one to make you laugh, cuddle with you, or get you what you need. Feel that esteem and bask in it.

Know that I often find Dad squished between you and the wall in your bed, reading you board books while you conk him repeatedly on the head with your elbow. He would do that forever. You consider him your personal servant.

Dearest, dearest little girl, you were absolutely our choice to bring up the last precious bit of our family. The little endcap, a most important feature in an already blooming garden of daughters. You are my snuggly reward, the berries on the cheesecake.

You're starting to get a few freckles and I wonder as I "hold you to beep" some nights, gazing down at your face, who you will be. Who you will love. I wonder about that year or two when the other girls may be out on their own and we get you to ourselves.

My little twin, I love you I love you I love you. Be my baby forever.

xo
Mama