Thursday, January 26, 2012

How I spend my time.

Took some portraits of my little birds at the end of the couch... Time is not dependable. Time doesn't give back in a relationship where babies are concerned. Time is selfish. But I plod on.

I look at my girls today, and die at their beauty and individuality. They are everything to me and I hope they will always be everything to each other.

Gotta go- Tada's walking around the living room with poo in her diaper and both fists full of tortilla chips :)

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Lots of girls.

The girls and their little girl friends. I'm missing the fourth sister in their family, she was playing in Tada's room. I can't believe we live so close to a family with four girls. And their mom is an amazing woman. So lucky to have them as friends. 

Look at this beauty! I always wondered what my babies would look like and as my girls were born one by one, the anticipation grew. Now that I knew what one or two looked like, what would the NEXT one look like? And here she is. My fourth. Those shiny little eyes and the nutty personality. She's feminine and sweet. And a big tease.

Grace and Ruby are laughing hysterically in their bedroom. Miles from asleep for the night. The late evening is the time when I can really reflect on my family. How important they all are to me. The dinner's been cleaned up, homework done, kisses, and I sit here and think about what I gave, what I lacked, how it could have been better and what's to come tomorrow.

Each of them give something extremely significant to me. All of their successes and downfalls are different.

Grace told me yesterday she always wants to be single. She said she doesn't want to trouble with the wedding planning and stuff. I have no idea where she thinks of these things. She does the dishes now. She hates it, but she loads the whole dishwasher, washes out the sink, puts the soap in and starts it up. She never gets cold. She stays out sledding with Jake for hours and never complains.

Ruby told me that she decided on a new favorite animal. Birds. We were sitting on her bed tonight just after I helped her into pajamas. She said when we went to the museum I wouldn't let her go into the gift shop where she just knew they sold stuffed birds. Then she started crying. And her cheeks were red and big tears spilled down her cheeks before I could stop them. All the stresses of the day came flooding out. She's thoughtful and deep. And gives all her money to Sudan in an envelope with her beautiful handwriting on it, "Sudan Money".

Lillie is still the hottest fire in the bunch. She challenges me in every way. She threw the hugest fit (one of many) today because no one would stay in the front of the house with her. I was putting away laundry and had to walk from the front to the back of the house about ten times. Every single time I walked past her she grew more furious. She has another side. She tightens up her throat for her patronizing voice, "you're the betht mom ezzer!". She cocks her head to the side and crinkles up her brow and puts every single bit of brain matter into life. Into questions. And people, places, relationships. She's all in and I am learning patience every day.

Tada is my crazy little sparrow. My past self is very jealous of my current self. The self who owns a baby who eats EVERYTHING. Every vegetable, salad, steak, guacamole, chili, lasagna and much more. I didn't know such a child existed. She has completely flat feet, no arches. Exactly like me. Which causes her knees to hug each other. She flits and floats about armed with only her dainty little run. She said "teeth" today but it sounded like "Beesh". I hold her down and kiss her at least 2,367 times a day. That girl has a tremendous sense of humor.

Welp, that's all for tonight. I made a goal for this year that I'd at least blog once a week. Easy to do, not overwhelming and just right for my work load.

Monday, January 09, 2012

A Magical Place.

Grace and Ruby are fast asleep, so I tiptoed in to take these photos in dim light. Grandma Mary got Ruby a craft kit for Christmas and Ruby made a one-eyed monster today. Then, during "reading time" tonight, G&R went nuts. Monster has a bed, pillow, and a pocket. Inside the pocket, a sponge cake. Green monster also has a few xbox remotes, and some netflix selections.

It's his birthday tonight, so that is why you may have seen a pinata hanging from his bedroom ceiling before he smashed it with his pipe cleaner arm. Also, a gift for him to open in the morning lays on his bedroom floor. Surrounded by bits of paper, foam, tape and markers, I laughed with them in their bedroom during their explanation.

I let go of my whole day, in a moment, laughing until tears threatened to peek from the corners of my eyes. Their faces, their lives, so funny and so smart. It's almost too much for me to handle.

Jake's cousin, Caitlin, came from AZ for a wedding and is spending some time with us here for a few days. She has really helped me appreciate my girls this weekend while Jake's been out of town for work. We laugh all day at Tada and duck when Lillie's temper flares. Grace and Ruby are completely underwater in friendship. They hardly ever fight. They create worlds together and there is no place on earth more magical than behind that closed bedroom door, every evening at 8.

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Baby and I.

My friend Kate snapped these of me and my baby. Thanks Kate

It's a different feel now... being done with the baby thing and moving onto raising the ones I have. It's beautiful to see them all as a whole. As four girls, bouncing around together. Creating relationships, building trust, laughing together, getting in trouble together. It's art, it's mayhem... it's everything I ever wanted.

Evidence of my girls is everywhere. On the walls, rugs, beds, counters, bookshelves. They have their own special spots around our house where they store their precious little toys and notebooks and pieces of string. They are starting to create something that resembles individuality. As much as they can have in a little house with all these bodies.

They fight for independence. Especially Lillie and Tada. They want to do everything themselves. They fight and play together now. Tadi watches Lillie intently and tries so hard to communicate with her. Lillie doesn't mind and completely understands her and what she needs and wants. It's nice to see.

I am starting to turn into that annoying person in the supermarket that asks how old your newborn is, what her name is, and makes a few ridiculous sounds in a high-pitched voice. My youngest is a toddler and having my own bundle is only a memory now. So looking forward to the future with my girls.