Tuesday, May 29, 2012
These photos were taken by a friend of mine (thanks, Katrina!) and mean so much to me since they are mostly in the backyard of our little house where we've lived now for 2 1/2 years.
In just over a week we will be moving to Carlsbad, California. Jake's company is transferring him down there to cover the southern California region.
It is so surreal to me that we are moving, and leaving this place behind. Utah has been our home more than once as we've bounced around from place to place. I have 6 siblings here. Hannah, Jared, Miriam, Gideon, Naomi and as of this summer, my little sister Bethany. Most of them have young kids or newborns. Their faces go through my mind as I prepare to move away. So sad to think they will no longer be part of my daily life. I've pushed those feelings away for most of this process. I can feel them coming like a tidal wave.
And my friends, my FRIENDS. Some of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life. Diverse, open, trusting, caring, women. I will die a hundred deaths without them.
The positive side... we are moving to a place about a mile from the ocean. To me, it's as close to home as I can get (although, still 12 hours from my hometown). We visited there a month or so ago. We went to the beach and after the girls had gotten their legs wet, I took Lillie's hand and we walked along a rocky jetty to the very end, my arm shaky from lifting her over every boulder and crevice for 200 yards. The breeze was overwhelming. The city of Carlsbad was behind us, covering the cliffs, and Jake and the girls were just below us on the shore. We sat there for a bit, Lillie and I. She stuck out her jaw, the sun on her face and her hair blowing back. I got tears in my eyes then, seeing my strong girl with her sparkly eyes facing west, the cold Pacific spray on our legs and nothing but open water on the horizon.
I don't mean to be dramatic. I just got emotional on the jetty that day, my gypsy heart winding it's way around that new town. Letting myself get drawn in by this completely new and gorgeous piece of coast.
Change molds us, like driftwood. It shakes up the box that holds our family until we finally resettle in slightly different positions, the light is different, the walls are different. Everything is fresh. And there, in that place of unpredictability, is where I thrive.
Posted on 5/29/2012