Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Ruby is 7.

Ruby at her elementary school, March 4th. 


You turned 7. And all along, I was methodical and tough and haven't let myself feel that yet. But then I played a beautiful sad song tonight and the tears came... I looked at your photographs and momentarily lost my ability to operate. Everything started melting as I saw your face, frozen in time on the day of your birthday.

I love tickling you. It's actually my favorite pastime. And if I had to choose between receiving briefcases of cash or tickling you, I'd probably still choose you. Your little teeny fingers, your no-boundaries-laugh, your eyes, hair, feet, bony knees, your sense of humor, they all get poured into your cauldron and out comes this child.... this perfect little treat. It's you. It's always been you. You're a magnet, you're a rhythm, you're a song.

Your delivery was the easiest, the least painful. I joked and chatted with the nurses in the minutes leading up to your entrance into the world. When I saw you, I was an emotional mess. You were pink and had lots of black hair. I went into that place of transcendance. A little teeny life was flashing over and over in my mind. Who would you be? Could I protect you? Did I deserve you?

You slept in a basket next to my bed for 8 days. At the end of the 8th day we flew from Salt Lake to Arizona to live. Our first big move as a family. We lied to Southwest Airlines about your age so they'd allow us to fly and the whole flight I was in fear that your ears would be damaged from the pressure. I remember flying over Provo, silent tears rolling down my cheeks, a new mother, so worried for your tiny body.

You have been such an easy girl. You have taught our entire family the meaning of love. From the first moments you could express it, you have spread love throughout our home, your circle of friends and our extended family. Those that get to know you are lucky. You are a shining light in everyone's lives.

From the moment my hands grasped your little 8 pound body, I knew that I couldn't live without you.

I love you,

Happy Birthday,

Your Mama.


Kate said...

Good grief Sarah. This is so beautiful that I am bawling. And wishing I had written Victoria's birthday post before I read this because now I'm tempted to copy and paste. The picture of you two holding hands broke my heart in a really good way. I love you and your family!!

Joyful Noise said...

Yeah, what she said. Absolutely beautiful!

k. novella said...

i think your little ruby is just so beautiful. hope she has a magical birthday.

Cher said...

i love the idea of taking pictures of them, just them, on their birthdays. so cute.
and such beautiful writing.

lindseyj said...

As always, amazing.

chanel said...

oh you make me CRY!
She is BEAUTIFUL. So is your DEEP love!
you're the best.

Lindsey said...

absolutely precious...