Today, all of you turned three. Legs, arms, wild hair, brilliant smile. There are always things you intend to do. There are constantly things you need and want. Today was no exception. We spent our time with you today going around St. Augustine, FL. We rode a trolley around the oldest city in America in sweaty weather. I sat behind you and stared at your wavy head of hair, grown so long now, and your tiny shoulders, puckered up in anticipation. Your face was set in a seriousness that showed even in the small fraction that lunged beyond your tousled hair.
Every bit of you strained to experience today. In the way you drove everyone to listen and deliver and follow. As you usually do. You cried about riding a small carousel you'd seen earlier, so we took you late in the afternoon. I will remember that forever. It was just you and I. The ocean breeze blowing our hair and you with that face and me just your loving mom. You wiggled from one horse to the next, constantly changing your mind. Your smile stretched as big as your arm. One dollar. And a dirty little carousel. And it was bliss, washing over us like a fountain of velvet.
You would leave your skin if you could. Burst out, just like that. You'd turn and wave to me from your new place, free of the age and limitations that slow your burning fire of a soul. I can see you there, not sure when, but I can see you sometime in the future. When every small piece of you comes together in the most beautiful harmony. When you will smile with confidence and calm at those that questioned or feared your outcome.
I love you Lillie. I can see a billion things in you but most of all, determination. Just go and do whatever it is that makes your heart sing. I'll be screaming on your sidelines!