It's not that I'm ungrateful or disenchanted or any less in love.
It's just that she surprises me and shocks me. She pounds the normal right out of me and replaces it with unconvention, deviation and strength. She leaves me wide-eyed, speechless.
Did she choose me? Did I choose her? Did we not choose each other and we're meant to muddle through until we come out the other side, changed, refreshed, stronger people?
I feel guilty about my fear of her. I feel guilty about the way she disrupts my conscious and the way I sometimes deal with it. My first instinct isn't to fight her. It's to run away. So sometimes I do. I just walk away. Because I don't exactly know what else to do. I put that job away for a few minutes so I can come back to it and start fresh.
She's a wild one. That's all mine. And I better figure her out.