Monday, March 22, 2010

IQ:

Driving down Cottonwood Canyon at sunset.

My mind has gone off a cliff. Feels like driving in the rain. I was on my knees cleaning the girl's room (because it's easier than trying to reach down from a standing position). After I separated their clean clothes from their dirty, I spotted a small pile of toys in the corner. I didn't know what to do with them. I couldn't remember. Is there a place in our house for toys? I couldn't remember. So I had to leave and come back. Wipe my brain clean, like a chalkboard.

It was that bad.

It's literally all I can do just to concentrate on moving about. Take care of the basic needs of me and my family. But intelligent conversation? There is no way. The thoughts are there. I can feel the strength of them. They're pushing against that wall of fog in my head, and they can't make their way out. I feel around for them, kick up some dust, maybe one or two really important things surface, and the rest recede as quickly as they came forward.

This might be hard for someone to follow, sure, but imagine how hard it must be for me to explain intelligently that I'm getting dumber! Really think about that. An eloquent way to state, "I don't think straight". I'm not even sure who's fault it is. The pregnancy? My three kids? No one's?

What's my name again?

So many questions...

9 comments:

Lillie said...

i love you.

Kasey said...

I love this post. Seriously, love it.

Dee said...

I remember. Lying on the couch to fulfill my parental responsibilities. I figured conserving my energy meant that if there was a fire I just might have enough to get everyone out of the house. Good luck baby girl.

lori said...

So i am that way and im not preggers. So I can blame it on the kids. OR I have thoughts like this :" I should have just gone to college a couple of semesters..THEN i would be smarter!" OR " Maybe if i read alot and like go to book club i would feel more intelligent!". Nope. No luck. Im right there with you. But do you know what will help u? Just hang out with me and watch shoes like the Bachelor. Uh..SHOWS. See! Exactly.

Laura said...

I put the cereal box in the frig this morning & I'm not 30 some odd weeks pregnant. So, don't worry- you're doing great! It will come back after your little girl is out, then it will go away again when she doesn't sleep, then it will come back when she's 3! It's life when you're a woman.

Lynnie said...

100% feel your pain. I told my husband a few months ago that I had become so good at multi-tasking that I was pretty sure there was no way I could ever single-task again. But now I've been taking a few classes and I'll tell you, it's really nice to know your brain (the one the world thinks is smart) is still in there somewhere and eventually can resurface. Besides, when you're pregnant they really have proved that the baby takes some of your brain cells. We won't make you take an IQ test till after she comes out :-)

Kristie said...

Yesterday, Rowan was meant to go to school in his normal uniform & Callum was meant to wear his sports uniform but silly me dressed them the other way. I can't even blame baby brain on that!

missy said...

This kind of stuff happens to me far to often. Glad to know I am not alone. That is how I feel most of the time I click on your blog. Must be why I love it.

Diana said...

I feel you! The other day one of my thoughts surfaced long enough to become an unfinished sentence (or was it a question?...I can't remember now), then quickly got lost in the fog.

Thanks for the smiles! :)