Driving down Cottonwood Canyon at sunset.
My mind has gone off a cliff. Feels like driving in the rain. I was on my knees cleaning the girl's room (because it's easier than trying to reach down from a standing position). After I separated their clean clothes from their dirty, I spotted a small pile of toys in the corner. I didn't know what to do with them. I couldn't remember. Is there a place in our house for toys? I couldn't remember. So I had to leave and come back. Wipe my brain clean, like a chalkboard.
It was that bad.
It's literally all I can do just to concentrate on moving about. Take care of the basic needs of me and my family. But intelligent conversation? There is no way. The thoughts are there. I can feel the strength of them. They're pushing against that wall of fog in my head, and they can't make their way out. I feel around for them, kick up some dust, maybe one or two really important things surface, and the rest recede as quickly as they came forward.
This might be hard for someone to follow, sure, but imagine how hard it must be for me to explain intelligently that I'm getting dumber! Really think about that. An eloquent way to state, "I don't think straight". I'm not even sure who's fault it is. The pregnancy? My three kids? No one's?
What's my name again?
So many questions...