Sunday, November 01, 2009

Letter to my baby



September 4th, 2009 was a big day, and among other things, we found out that we were pregnant with you. I squeezed it in there, between phone calls and errands, like an afterthought. Until I read that the test results were positive. And then I squealed with excitement. I hope you know someday that even though you're going to be our fourth baby, I still felt that thud in my heart and new air entered my lungs. Another baby. What a gift.

You will enter into a family that has love and emotion pouring through the windows and running down the walls. In the morning, there will be Lills and Rube right in your face, every minute of the day. Lillie will probably force her bottle or sippy cup into your mouth, but I will usually be there to protect you from injury. For the first few weeks you'll sleep and while you do, we will go every afternoon and pick up your sister Grace from school. She is the oldest and she will take care of you almost as much as I will. She will be your protector. She is practical and wise and makes responsible decisions. She won't fight with you much. Ruby will be your lover. She'll stroke your cheeks and kiss you within an inch of your life. She'll think fondly of you and plot ways to sneak your things away in the same moment. She's hilarious and will make you laugh numerous times per day. Lillie will be your biggest threat but your greatest friend. You'll roll around together in this crazy life, not knowing where she ends and you begin. You'll steal her toys and annoy her, but one day she'll make it very clear that she cannot live without your constant presence and support. She'll be a wonderful sister to you, just give her some time to adjust.

We don't know if you're a boy or a girl. We will find out November 18th and we're both extremely curious, but want to make this clear: we want you, no matter what you are. We want a noisy, clattery, whiny little girl just as much as we want our rough and tumbly boy. We consider you the greatest blessing in our life. I am 13 weeks along and you are making me very sick, but all it means is that you're sticking. That little body of yours, so bony and wormy in the ultrasound, is healthy and strong and you have a tiny beating heart that couldn't make me happier.

When you are young, you'll hear muddy conversations that don't make sense. Mommy will be forever busy and you'll jutt out from my arm like a baby kitten, waiting to understand this world you've been introduced into. Just wait. Just be patient. You'll come into your own soon enough. You are at no disadvantage, the rest of your family has paved the way and we are more than ready to take care of your needs.

Our decision to have you come as our fourth child is not one we took lightly. Four kids is a lot. For us, I think it's just right. We think you may be our very last baby and it makes me feel proud and lucky to be carrying just one more perfect blend of me and the love of my whole life, your daddy. We will raise the four of you to bring love, peace and understanding to the world. Yourselves, the greatest gift you can give, will be yours to share with people you meet along the way. Give it freely, but also be picky. You will have so many gifts, just like your sisters, and there are so many people that will need you as you will need them. Give things, time, and sacrifice all you can, and you will be happy and blessed.

Feel important, even though you are the youngest. Feel confident, even if you came last. You're our crown, our cherry on top.

We are happy little baby, and excited, and anxious. The moment you enter into this world, into our lives, into my life, will be one of the greatest things I ever achieve.

See you around May 10th.

Yours,
Mom.

41 comments:

Lindsey said...

YAY!!! Congrats! I'm so happy for you!

Chelsea Stewart said...

What a sweet letter! Congratulations!

Raelyn said...

Congratulations!
Brought goosebumps as usual!
Can't wait to hear what you are having!

missy said...

I have chills. I have tears. And I am completely and totally thrilled for you and this new baby of yours. I am so so so happy for you.

Beautifully written, of course. (and tell me you will update as soon as you know if boy or girl! I'm already guessing a girl).

Debbi said...

YAY I am so excited for you guys! I can't wait for November 18 but you are so right in this letter, either way this baby will be loved and lucky to be in such a great family, you guys are awesome!

One Cluttered Brain said...

CONGRATS! So exciting!!!

Dee said...

Granny can now let go of the guilt for letting it slip at dinner a few weeks ago. She was so pleased I think she found it difficult to contain herself as I was showing her your blog. She kept marveling at all the Smylie babies and said something about your new one. then was instantly sorry. Then and now it's still wonderful news. Bless you and Jake.

Lynnie said...

congrats and yeah! Hope the sickness goes away soon but so excited for you all.

Kim said...

Congratulations! I am excited to find out what you are having.

Latisha said...

Congratulations!

Celeste said...

Yeah!!! I am so happy for you! I can't wait to see what kind of cutie this one will be in your life.

{Erica} said...

What a beautiful way to announce you're expecting. Your little one will be entering one swell family that is for sure!

Hope you'll start feeling better soon :)

Haley Clarke said...

Congratulations Sarah!! I am so happy for the both of you. :)

kristen said...

I am so seriously crying.....because it was a beautiful letter, because I am sooo excited for you all and also, because now I don't have to worry about slipping up, like I almost did several times!!!!! :) lol I am so incredibly happy for you. That was an awesome way to announce it! That sweet little baby that will be here in May is an amazing blessing and will also be so blessed to be joining such an amazing family!!!! xoxoxo

The Little One said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Little One said...

Congratulations Sarah! Looking forward to hearing whether it's a girl or a boy :)

lori said...

Thank you. You are inspiring. Now I can consider thinking about practicing to maybe have my fourth. Ha! No, but raelly, we can do this!!!

cowgurs said...

YEAH FOR BABY 4! SARAH YOU ARE A MACHINE!i'm dying toatin around baby 2 and youre all, "no, i can do this 4 times". you are a rock! congratulations!

Laura said...

How wonderful! Congrats to you, Jake & your beautiful girls :) We are thrilled for you all!

Jennifer said...

Congratulations Sarah! I'm so happy for you guys!! Your letter is just...perfect. I think I'm going to take it and change a few of the details. Just kidding! I just wish that I could express how I feel that well in writing!

k said...

Such happy news Sarah! Congrats to you and Jake and the girls...

Danyel said...

OMG !!!!! We are sooooo happy for you all!! What a wonderful blessing!!!
Keep us posted!!!!
:)

Leanne said...

Congrats Sarah!! You are such an example to me of the kind of mom I want to be someday. I am SO happy for you! Love you!

Brittany said...

I love this! It made me cry as I am in the same situation :) Congratulations!

Rhi said...

Sarah, i'm so happy for you and Jake. I have been thinking alot about you, maybe it's because Mike is Florida right now and I wish that I was there too so that I could visit with you. I hope you feel better.

Kristie said...

Wow, what exciting news. Hope you're well and getting as much rest as raising 3 kids will allow. xo

Lillie said...

Beautiful. I want to copy it and paste it in my blog the next time I'm pregnant. Do you mind?;)

Alisa said...

You're so lovely. And now I'm tearing. Congratulations and happy baby days to you!

jakenapril said...

Congratulations! I'm hoping for a boy...but a girl would be nice as well. So excited for you and yours.

Lisa said...

OHHHHHH!

CONGRATS!

Jodi said...

So excited for you...congrats!

LeDoux said...

how could you do that to me?????? i told you that cried at a rice crispies commercial and you're all, "i'll give you something to cry about, sarie."

that is so beautiful. i love it.
xoxo

Josh, Kim & Kids said...

What a lucky baby!

Kirst said...

Congratulations Sarah!

amyg said...

Congratulations. What fun news!

Lotti said...

How exciting ... have been following your blog for ages and it's so lovely to hear you are having another baby. My daughter is also expecting her 3rd on the same day .... congratulations to you all !!!

.s.a.r.a.h. said...

Great news Sarah!!! This post is very sweet. Can't wait to hear boy or girl!

ariana said...

Miss a week and you miss a lot. Wow, Congratulations!

Lindsey said...

congrats!! so very exciting. and 4, that's just perfect.

gretchen said...

Congratulations! So happy for you all! This post is very sweet. What a lucky baby.

Team Bowers said...

I wish you were my mom. congrats!