Sunday, August 30, 2009
A good decision.
I guess I decided way back in April. I picked the place, got her shots done, told everyone. Even she was excited: she was going to preschool. Kindergarten here in Florida is from 7:50a.m. to 2:30p.m. It's a great idea to get them into something to prepare them for the shock of that schedule.
She survived her first day Monday. We both breathed, I thought, I can do this. Just Lillie in the mornings, pick Ruby up by 11:30. Hear about her morning spent somewhere else (eek) and get on with our lives. Accept and embrace the change, doesn't sound too hard...
Tuesday came. She walked into school and waved at a little girl facing her. The girl only stared and did not wave back. Ruby's tiny little arm slipped back into place near her book bag. Her legs peeked out under her shorts and her socks were uneven. I almost cried then. I craned my neck as I pulled away that morning, watching her walk up the concrete path past the line of 4-year olds. I asked her when she got home that day what her favorite part was. She said playing with the doll house.
That night I told Jake I just couldn't do it. I wanted her sing song voice to echo undisciplined through our home. I wanted to keep her world just that for a little longer. After a long discussion, we decided that as long as she loved it and it was enriching, we'd see it through. We went to bed. I arose early the next morning to Ruby's quiet whine at the side of my bed. Her fists were rubbing her eyes as she spoke in repetetive tones. She declared that she didn't want to go to school anymore. It was quite clear after a few minutes that this emotion was not a fleeting one. Jake and I looked at each other and flooded our home with quaint decisiveness. It was what we needed.
She would adjust fine to Kindergarten. She would learn at a good pace. She would be just fine at home with me one more year.
I didn't send her back. We stayed home that morning, called the school, teased each other while Lillie weaved inside and out of her familiar morning routine with Mom and Ruby.
We ate cereal late and got in the car around 10, on a mission to buy the most massive dollhouse that Toys R Us carried.