I'm still recovering from my two hour nap. Did you read that right? TWO HOURS. I'm pretty high energy so I don't normally nap. Sometimes I will try. I'll lay there. For a good ten minutes, and then I just give up. But today Jake watched (napped on the couch with) the girls and I snoozed. When I woke up I felt drunk and fainty. It was LOVELY.
Yesterday I spent four hours on the beach with some friends. I didn't have my girls with me. Strangely, I missed them. I think it's what happens to us as mothers and parents. I can't look at a pier stretching it's long neck into the ocean and not slightly turn my head in an effort to tell Gracie something about it, the way it's built, the birds that are fishing straight from the ocean, the shells I found, realizing she's not there and wishing she was. It feels good to want them. To want to share my life with them.
I woke up this morning and promptly demanded that we be on time for church. I told Jake it's what I wanted for my birthday. So we were. And after, sitting at our table for a lunch he cooked for me, I gave his scruffy cheek a little kiss. It is so normal to do that, no spark, no giggles, just that roughness of his face against my lips. I really love him.
And you know what? My eyes just stung with tears. And that doesn't happen very often. I just really am so lucky.