Friday, October 26, 2007

Pre-Halloween

Today is a good day. It's October 26. Only a few days away from Halloween being OVER. I guess I am a long list of things, including a humbug. I've never really liked anything involving pumpkins... like all the gleeful hordes of Utah caucasians (all dressed up with that warm mormon grin) that harvest pumpkins at a REAL pumpkin patch like, maybe all of the pumpkins will be gone if we don't go to a farm and get one... oh wait, there are like a thousand at Walmart and they're half the price!!! And I'm not mocking anyone in particular (which I know about 20 people I'm probably directly mocking) because if you want to bring your kids to a pumpkin patch they're probably so much happier for it than my girls who sit at home and never know what it's like to have a hayride... but a blog is a blog. And this is mine.

The word "Boo" is also heavily used in this area teaming with do-gooders. We were "Boo-ed", which means some strange person knocks on your door, leaves a treat with a piece of paper with a Halloween poem and runs away. WHAT? A POEM? Hilarious. This is my translation of the poem: Dear neighbor, on this Satanic holiday, because I brought you treats, you must feel compelled to drive to your real estate office, make copies of the large cartoon ghost (which probably isn't anything like a real ghost looks like and who am I to give my child a sheltered version of what the dead really look like?) and pass treats (taking up more of your precious energy and time) out to two additional neighbors, including the cartoon ghost insert. Grace and Ruby: if you go to a haunted house, you will not find any cartoon ghosts. And don't go to a haunted house before asking me first, because then we'll have a lot to talk about. I just hate feeling compelled. If it's religously, then great. Let me be compelled to get my butt out of bed and go to church, but neighborly candy-and-ghost-sharing? Nah. Then I forgot to tape up the ghost in MY window signifying that I've already been "Boo-ed", so I got "Boo-ed" again. Double whoops.

My Halloween wish is that we will accidentally forget to turn on the porch light and accidentally turn on some great music loud enough to not hear any knocks. And then maybe my girls, just one more year, will be too young to know that TODAY IS HALLOWEEN and that we can't miss out and maybe we'll stay in and drink hot chocolate and play CandyLand and laugh really loud. And that the neighbor kids love me just enough to NOT mention Halloween. Or ring the doorbell.
But reality speaks to me loud and clear and I know that I'll have my Canon out ready to snap pictures of them in their princess dresses and $5 tiaras (such a rip off, but really jeweley and cute, pink and sparkly). And then we'll trick or treat against the bitter wind, exchanging smiles with neighbor parents accompanying their kids, with sympathetic "oohs and ahs" as the children pass by in their stiff jackets. We will all suddenly know how lucky we are to have children to bring us out of our self-composed shell and into the world that is spinning so quickly around us.

10 comments:

Naomi Campbell said...

Sarah, Mom here stealing my 18yo daughter's identity. Remember the Halloweens we escaped because they were Sunday and we went Grama's house because no one came to her house and we played games? And the other one when we went up to visit Grama Jim for the last time in Washington in that terrible rainstorm? I can remember Halloweens generally but the ones we missed I remember the best. But I was always famous for being the strict one and Dad the fun one, but I can tell you he ABSOLUTELY HATES Halloween. He is not so enamoured by the Santa Claus, gift thing either. I think you may have acquired his distaste of at least one of the holidays. LOL. I enjoyed Halloween, but maybe because two Scrooges in one house would never do! Plus I hate answering the door, so I always enthusiastically took the trick or treat duty. This year is our last. Isaac will be too old next year. Sniff. Love, Mom

Kasey said...

Oh Sarah, you crack me up! I totally know what you mean about the pumpkin patch being WAY overpriced. We go every year for the experience and get one pumpkin. We get the rest at Walmart.
I am DYING that you got "boo-ed". I've never heard of such a thing and wonder why someone had to think that one up.
I must say that I LOVE Halloween though. It's so fun to get the kids dressed up. And I make Matt take them trick-or-treating if the weather is bad. Which it is pretty much every year. Have fun on Wednesday!

Debbi said...

I am dying of laughter right now! I love that you got boo-ed twice! I love the post. I am not a huge scarey halloween fan, but I like pumpkins and fall. I eat the boys good candy and leave them the bad stuff.

Megan said...

WOW! I never knew there were people out there that hated Halloween so much! Maybe I was the one that "boo-ed" you. You'll never know!

vicky said...

Sarah, I feel EXACTLY the same way! I really really really dislike this holiday.
And being "BOO-ED"...I HATE! Like I don't have enough to do already! I think it is mostly a Utah thing.

LuCDay said...

Sarah, you should not post when you're in this kind of a mood. Well actually, it's fun to read and fun to picture you at your computer, rolling your eyes and eating my jelly beans over having to (heaven forbid) pretend like you enjoy Halloween. I'm a fan because my kids are fans. It's fun to see them them exicted. I make myself carve pumpkins (almost) every year for my kid's memories. Although I think we'll be skipping that tradition this year. Put a smile on!

Kate said...

Ha, and to think I invited you to a Halloween party this very day! ;) And you said you had a baby shower to go to... hmm...

pfabulouspfun-der said...

Sarah,
I don't know if you know me, I was in one of your wards at one time. Vicky Amdal showed me your blog and I LOVE reading it. I just noticed that you have my sister-in-laws blog as a link (The Pfarm) Just curious how you found it. Vicky maybe?
Juli Pfunder

Unknown said...

Ba-humbug. I think Seinfield does an awesome bit where he talks about the wisdom of dressing our children up as things that scare them and then sending them to strangers to ask for sugar and things that aren't good for them. This was funny though. You should be like my mom was and when your girls get back from trick or treating, let them choose five pieces of candy and then the rest goes into a family pot. This serves many purposes. First, you get a lot of candy so you'll like the whole thing more and secondly, it's a totaly buzz-kill for your kids who will want to stop trick-or-treating in no time at all.

Jenni of the Great Salt Lake said...

geewhiz. . . I would have totally assumed that the lover of all things pure sugar would have totally been in love with Halloween. You are one of the three adults I know that seems to enjoy eating sugar, like little kid-candy-sugar much more than most food items. In summation, I believe that more people should move to Syracuse, where pumpkins from the field are actually cheaper than Wal-marts. Oh ya.