Wednesday, August 22, 2007

It's just the way I am.

I am one of those people who constantly embarrasses themselves. I have tact about 80% of the time. The other 20%, I say too much, without thinking, too soon, too late, too loud. And for nothing but a good laugh. Or I stand up in testimony meeting and am so nervous that instead of getting to the point, I start telling funny stories. Not good. Jacob knows this and tries to help me and also has his own little spells of the same.

Telling people embarrassing stories about myself helps me heal. Because usually people don't say what they really think, they say things like, "That's really funny", or "Sarah, you're the best", or "Ya, I've done that before, too", and it helps me feel better about myself, even if it's not true.

A couple of things: You never want to guess if the older of two ladies is a grandmother or a mother. You never want to assume someone's pregnant. You never want to be in the Relief Society Presidency, sit up in the front of R.S. every week facing 40 women, and take role during the opening prayer (or sneak fruit snacks out of your bag during the lesson). Not good. You never want to lie to your neighbor that you're too busy to watch her kids, and then play at the park right next to your house. You never want to be at the grocery store checkout with screaming kids, using WIC coupons, and buying a pregnancy test.

Alright, enough about my past. Something that I did a few weeks ago: I got to church 15 minutes early to play the organ (I have so many embarrassing organ stories, it's ridiculous). I start with the prelude music. dum hm hm dum dum da dum, nice and slow and pretty. At about five minutes til the hour, the bishopric is seated on the stand, the deacons are in place to pass the sacrament and our ward has an eager 40-50 people already seated for Sacrament meeting. I reach over to my bag and pull out my granola bar. It's the nutty kind, with chewy honey and oats and almonds and peanut butter stuff on the bottom. The Costco ones. I'm taking chomp after chomp in between hymns and looking down, I can feel lots of eyes on me. But come on, people, a organist has gotta eat. No one knows when I'll eat next and I can feel it will probably be in about 4 hours when church is over. So I'm meeting gazes with a smile and plugging along to Joseph Smith's First Prayer with my mouth full. I finish and take a swig of my water bottle. Yum. Breakfast completed and all done before 9a.m. The service starts and about half way through TESTIMONY MEETING I realize it's Fast Sunday. DUUUUUUUH.

10 comments:

The Young's said...

Sarah- Are you Pg?????

Sarie said...

No, Kim, I am not pregnant. That was some time ago.

Missy said...

I have to say, you have some super funny embarrasing experiences. I was hurryint to the end of this post thinking it might be fast sunday. Love it.

PS: Those are my favorite granola bars. Trader Joes makes them too.

maren out my laundry said...

oh sarah, that is good!!! hahaha too funny. You are funny and I love it and I'm not just saying that.

Jen said...

Okay, those are some hilarious stories! We all have our embarrassing moments..mine seem to come in sacrament meetings as well. One Sunday as I am sitting on the front row with my children like the good Bishop's wife that I am (right in the middle of the sacrament being passed) my cell phone (which I USUALLY turn on vibrate) blares out a very loud rock version of "Sweet Home Alabama". My poor husband. Anyway, I didn't want to make history here with the longest comment but I wanted to let you know that Elder Medley is a stone's throw away from me. All our missionaries in our ward know him because they have had several meetings with him over the last several weeks. He is in our our Stake and so I will see him in a few weeks at conference. Jody and Kelly will be here as well. My husband said we outta call him up and take him and his companion out for dinner but I was thinking that might be too stalkerish...I think he is already a little frighten because every missionary he meets says "Hey, you know Sister Hanekamp keeps asking what ward you are in". I went out with the Sister miss. last night and they had talked to him yesterday and he's like "who is the crazy lady?" I am sure. But I WILL be taking pictures when I see him!!!

Rebecca said...

The best is that regardless, everyone in your ward now thinks your pregnant. So hungry she has to eat between hymns. Not fasting. Youngest is two. Prime candidate. You won't go without a seat in that ward for at least three months when everyone starts to realize it was a ruse.

Lisa A said...

Oh Sarah, you are my favorite, as always, I am laughing!

I love your guts!

Lisa

Erica said...

Holy wow...that's soo something I would do! You're hillarious!

Debbi said...

If it makes you feel any better, I always offer candy or snacks to the YW in our ward when I am teaching and they always respond, "NO thanks sister christiansen, it's fast sunday!"

no joke!

Kelly said...

You are the best story teller. YOu always make me laugh out loud! Hilarious stuff.